Should we stay or should we go?

When I woke up this morning I felt like hell; my head was pounding and my stomach ached so I went back to bed.  Sadly that didn't seem to do anything to make me feel better so I called the few people I needed to speak with today and then tried to get some food in my stomach hoping that would help along with some over the counter painkillers.  That didn't help either so I thought about and thought about it some more and decided that I needed to call in.  They were actually pretty good about especially when I knew that my calling in would make them seriously understaffed (yes, I felt super guilty about that).  Hopefully I won't go into the office on Sunday or Monday with a "you're fired" e-mail.  After I called in, I upped the painkilling dosage and went back to bed for a third time and woke up to Dave coming home with dinner.

This time I began to feel a bit better and we ate and watched the movie Tangled.  Yes, I finally saw it and oh my goodness, I absolutely loved every bit of it.  Every bit of it except that fact that the villain looks just like me.  Now out of all the Disney characters I can no longer say I resemble any of the princesses and now will have to forever own up to the fact that I now look most like "mother" in Tangled.  That said, I now feel like Jamie and I need to be mother and Rapunzel for Halloween either this year or next year.  However, being the villain is quite sad for a girl who grew up loving Disney and still looks to them as a magical escape during times of sickness or depression.  Going to their world in Florida is definitely my favorite vacation destination at this point.  I love it there.  Something about being there and I'm no longer in the real world with real problems.  I'm now in the place where true love does exist and dreams do come true.  I love it.

By the end of the evening I was feeling a bit better and decided that tonight was the night that we were going to do things around the house.  So, we cleaned up our bedroom and rearranged all of our furniture.  Of course, my cleaning it meant that much of the junk we didn't quite know what to do with ended up in the living room, kitchen, and hallway but one room at a time.  The new set up is different and I feel weird sleeping in this direction now but I actually really like the way it turned out which is a good thing as we may end up staying here after all, if we can't find a place elsewhere which is looking less and less likely.  Seriously none of the places we're looking at seem to have any availability and I can't help but feel really nervous about the whole thing.  Not to mention that staying here will save us at least $200 as our rent hasn't increased the way everyone else's has.

So I'm beginning to think about maybe trying make this place something that I can stand again.  Continue with the home projects and see what happens.  Between the wedding and the everything else, it almost seems like too much.  We'll make them come in and fix our wall and secure our cabinets.  I'll get a mirror and place it on the opposing wall of our two tiny windows to help reflect the natural light of the day and maybe it won't be awful to stick it out for one more year.   As a real time update, I just casually mentioned this to Dave and he is not having it at all.  Funny how things change.  Six months ago, it was all me.   We'll just have to see what happens.  So long as we've each other, we can make anything work.  Plus, if our goal for next year is to pay down our debt, then this definitely is the best choice out of all the others.