Normally I come home on Tuesdays with a lot of energy because it is like my Friday. Tonight though, I swear I'm about to pass out from exhaustion. I don't know where this tiredness is coming from as it's not like I did a lot today before work, I even napped but it's here so I'm going to listen to it. Thankfully, I do have tomorrow off so I can hopefully rest up and perhaps Dave and I can do something fun. My sister is sick which is terrible. I can thank my lucky stars that I'm not sick at least.
Anyway, between my feeling tired and super grumpy I'm going to end this post early. I would just end up complaining anyway. Good night.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Rushing my post before bed
We got cute little bedside table lamps as a wedding gift and I love them. You touch them to turn them on or off and they have the different settings of light. Right now, I'm typing this post in bed with my lamp on the lowest setting. I was putting Dave to bed and when I was laying down with him realized that I may want to go to sleep as well despite waking up late today. Of course, I can't do that without writing first so that's what I'm doing.
Dave's cute though. Now that he knows I want to go to bed with him he is staying awake playing with his phone until I finish. He started adding a daily vitamin to my medicine because he has become recently worried that I am going to get sick. I think I got a very mild case of salmonella (my stomach and I haven't been good friends for the last few days) and it's got him concerned. Also, I love that he brings me my medicine on a nightly basis now. Really, I am so lucky that I got him as a husband. Go me!
Dave's cute though. Now that he knows I want to go to bed with him he is staying awake playing with his phone until I finish. He started adding a daily vitamin to my medicine because he has become recently worried that I am going to get sick. I think I got a very mild case of salmonella (my stomach and I haven't been good friends for the last few days) and it's got him concerned. Also, I love that he brings me my medicine on a nightly basis now. Really, I am so lucky that I got him as a husband. Go me!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Good days
Laura, Ben, Mom, and I went venue shopping earlier today. I think they might have found their venue! I'm super excited for them. It's a big step if they do decide to go with the one that become the favorite today. Hopefully, once their decision is finalized, they will have a date set. Then my sister can take a break so she doesn't drive herself crazy during the middle of tax season. Finding the venue and choosing the date is one of the hardest pieces of wedding planning.
Unfortunately I couldn't stay very long after lunch as I did have to work this evening. Work was quiet and I found myself clock watching. It was one of those days where I left feeling like I did just enough to get by. I haven't had one of those days in a while so I don't know why I feel guilty about but I do. Despite that though, I actually had an awesome caller who took down my supervisor's email so he could tell her how much I helped him. That will totally great if he actually does that.
It's late now and I haven't seen Dave all day so I'm going to cut this short and talk with him before going to bed. I enjoy good days!
Unfortunately I couldn't stay very long after lunch as I did have to work this evening. Work was quiet and I found myself clock watching. It was one of those days where I left feeling like I did just enough to get by. I haven't had one of those days in a while so I don't know why I feel guilty about but I do. Despite that though, I actually had an awesome caller who took down my supervisor's email so he could tell her how much I helped him. That will totally great if he actually does that.
It's late now and I haven't seen Dave all day so I'm going to cut this short and talk with him before going to bed. I enjoy good days!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Lazy Saturdays
I've finally begun my second post for the other blog I'm writing. Last week I promised that I would have it by the middle of this most recent week but hasn't quite happened yet. At the moment, it's just two paragraphs that haven't been edited it. My hope is to at least finish it before discarding it entirely and trying to rewrite it. Otherwise, it's been a quite day. Dave and I intended to go skating again today but he's on call this weekend and work called him 3 or 4 times after we went to bed.
Instead, we spent our afternoon in bed. Him napping trying to catch up on his sleep and me just next to him listening to his heartbeat and his sleeping breathing. I don't spend enough time doing something that simple. A relationship doesn't need giant romantic gestures or far away adventures to continue to grow. I would argue that a long conversation over dinner that continues through the evening or something as simple as just being with the other person when they are their most boring is what deepens a relationship. We had a good time today even without the ice skating or the apartment projects originally planned.
Tomorrow unfortunately, we will not be spending a lot of time together. I switched my shift with one of my amazing coworkers so that Laura and I could go visit two of her favorite wedding venues. She called me and wanted my opinion which is really, really cool. I'm super excited to go meet her tomorrow. The downside is that I now have to work until 11pm instead. Ah well. It's worth it to hang out with my sister tomorrow.
Instead, we spent our afternoon in bed. Him napping trying to catch up on his sleep and me just next to him listening to his heartbeat and his sleeping breathing. I don't spend enough time doing something that simple. A relationship doesn't need giant romantic gestures or far away adventures to continue to grow. I would argue that a long conversation over dinner that continues through the evening or something as simple as just being with the other person when they are their most boring is what deepens a relationship. We had a good time today even without the ice skating or the apartment projects originally planned.
Tomorrow unfortunately, we will not be spending a lot of time together. I switched my shift with one of my amazing coworkers so that Laura and I could go visit two of her favorite wedding venues. She called me and wanted my opinion which is really, really cool. I'm super excited to go meet her tomorrow. The downside is that I now have to work until 11pm instead. Ah well. It's worth it to hang out with my sister tomorrow.
Finance
Alright, it's 3am and I need to write something before going to bed. I realized looking at the first line of many of my posts that I start the majority of posts like this. It appears that I don't want to write much of the time and end up doing it anyway. I just want to keep the habit intact. I guess it's like working out. You have to keep doing it because once you stop, it's so easy to begin again and stop.
On another note, I took a look at our finances again tonight. We've been more relaxed with them recently especially with all the apartment stuff that we've been doing. I mean, we're not going crazy but these past two months we've spent more than we realized. Oddly enough, placing all your charges on a credit card for you to pay down that the end of the month is illuminating. When you are just paying bills and spending money on food and other things through your checking account or debit card, you just get used to expecting a certain amount as a maximum in that accounts as funds a continuously debited and credited to it. However, when just about every bill goes onto the credit card, you just see the bill get larger and larger. With the funds moving back and forth, you don't realize just how much you are spend a month. However, at the end of the month when the credit card statement cycles, it provides a solid large figure of your monthly expenditures.
Despite my vigilant tracking, I still didn't take into consideration everything. So these past two months I've learned even more.
On another note, I took a look at our finances again tonight. We've been more relaxed with them recently especially with all the apartment stuff that we've been doing. I mean, we're not going crazy but these past two months we've spent more than we realized. Oddly enough, placing all your charges on a credit card for you to pay down that the end of the month is illuminating. When you are just paying bills and spending money on food and other things through your checking account or debit card, you just get used to expecting a certain amount as a maximum in that accounts as funds a continuously debited and credited to it. However, when just about every bill goes onto the credit card, you just see the bill get larger and larger. With the funds moving back and forth, you don't realize just how much you are spend a month. However, at the end of the month when the credit card statement cycles, it provides a solid large figure of your monthly expenditures.
Despite my vigilant tracking, I still didn't take into consideration everything. So these past two months I've learned even more.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Escapism
It's that time of the year again. The time that I stuck researching potential escape destinations. My wanderlust kicks into overdrive during these short, cold days. Something about being shut in and whatnot. I've tried to remember that Dave and I are planning a cheap Maine getaway in just a couple of weeks but that doesn't get us away from the heavy clothing, cold air, and the short days. I want to strip away the layers and go swimming in the sea. Some find winter cozy and comfortable and there are many days that I agree. However, there are also as many days where I just feel confined and stifling. One of these days, I will become accustomed to this season. I will and I must because the idea of my moving permanently away from here is becoming less and less realistic.
I know I'm just at the very, very beginning of my life as an adult but is it bad that I'm already looking forward to retirement. Of course, I'm not looking that forward to it as I still quite a long life to live prior to that. Hopefully, Dave and I will both be around and together come the time we retire. Seriously, the idea that he may not be in my life 45 years from now is terrifying. Looking forward with a positive attitude though, I really can't wait until the two of us are old enough to not have to work. My hope is that we will have save enough money to do the New Englander's dream: spend May to January here and then fly to Florida from January to May. Get away from the snow and the ice that could cause easily break our already fragile bones.
There are many times that I really wish that I could get away for just one winter. When I went to Costa Rica and I heard so many people tell me how much they wish they could see snow. Listening to twenty-forty year old adults say that they've never seen snow just blew me away. I've never not known snow. When I came home for that winter, I must say that I greatly appreciated and actually embraced the snow. Sometimes I wonder if I really would miss it if I went an entire year without it. If all I knew was the same old 40-80 degree temperatures, would I get bored? Would I find myself longing to come home? I really don't know.
Of course, moving to an area with no winter would bring me terribly far away from those I care most about. I am super close to my family and I wouldn't want to be far from them for an extended period of time. A huge part of me wishes I was rich enough to move everyone out to San Diego for a couple of years. I just want to know what that's like. I mean, almost perfect weather almost all year round? It seems downright impossible. I know a few people who have traveled here after living there and they love the variety that New England offers. Sometimes the old adage is true: you don't know what you have until it's no longer there.
I must admit. Dave is a huge weakness for me. Despite all my griping about the area, it really doesn't matter. I could leave anytime I wanted to but I will not and have absolute zero desire to be without him for more than a couple of days. Even that seems like it would be far too long. My week in Paris felt like ages without him. I never in a million years would have seen this coming but I wouldn't trade him in for the whole world. I long to see the world. However, if I have to stay in Massachusetts for decades and then die I won't care, so long as he's here with me. Yeah, I know. I'm cheesy and corny but I'm a newlywed. It's might right and privilege.
I know I'm just at the very, very beginning of my life as an adult but is it bad that I'm already looking forward to retirement. Of course, I'm not looking that forward to it as I still quite a long life to live prior to that. Hopefully, Dave and I will both be around and together come the time we retire. Seriously, the idea that he may not be in my life 45 years from now is terrifying. Looking forward with a positive attitude though, I really can't wait until the two of us are old enough to not have to work. My hope is that we will have save enough money to do the New Englander's dream: spend May to January here and then fly to Florida from January to May. Get away from the snow and the ice that could cause easily break our already fragile bones.
There are many times that I really wish that I could get away for just one winter. When I went to Costa Rica and I heard so many people tell me how much they wish they could see snow. Listening to twenty-forty year old adults say that they've never seen snow just blew me away. I've never not known snow. When I came home for that winter, I must say that I greatly appreciated and actually embraced the snow. Sometimes I wonder if I really would miss it if I went an entire year without it. If all I knew was the same old 40-80 degree temperatures, would I get bored? Would I find myself longing to come home? I really don't know.
Of course, moving to an area with no winter would bring me terribly far away from those I care most about. I am super close to my family and I wouldn't want to be far from them for an extended period of time. A huge part of me wishes I was rich enough to move everyone out to San Diego for a couple of years. I just want to know what that's like. I mean, almost perfect weather almost all year round? It seems downright impossible. I know a few people who have traveled here after living there and they love the variety that New England offers. Sometimes the old adage is true: you don't know what you have until it's no longer there.
I must admit. Dave is a huge weakness for me. Despite all my griping about the area, it really doesn't matter. I could leave anytime I wanted to but I will not and have absolute zero desire to be without him for more than a couple of days. Even that seems like it would be far too long. My week in Paris felt like ages without him. I never in a million years would have seen this coming but I wouldn't trade him in for the whole world. I long to see the world. However, if I have to stay in Massachusetts for decades and then die I won't care, so long as he's here with me. Yeah, I know. I'm cheesy and corny but I'm a newlywed. It's might right and privilege.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Criminal Psychology
I find criminal psychology fascinating. It's really bizarre but there are many other there who share my interest. There's an entire television station dedicated to crimes. Shows like Criminal Minds, Dexter, and Law and Order Criminal Intent are massive hits. It's clear that other people have find this of likewise intrigue. Watching the premier of the show Dark Minds, where they use a serial killer to help find other serial killers (Silence of the Lambs anyone?) and I realized that I understood something before it was revealed.
The show reflects many murders happening in the New England where the killer seems to use stabbing as a signature. One of the first comments was how it was unusual for the victims to not have the sexual assault. However, I found myself saying out loud, "well that's what the knife is for." Of course, not more than ten minutes into the show they feature the convicted serial killer stating that stabbing is the act of penetration itself. Maybe it was something obvious. Maybe in my brief description, my far more intuitive friends were able to pick up on that without the obsessive interest in criminal psychology. For me, I find that I continue to surprise myself by what I know about sexual sadists and other aspects.
My therapist, after realizing that limiting my exposure might not be what I need, suggested a book written by one of the most prolific criminal psychologists out there. She asked why I was bothered by my intrigue. I couldn't answer the question. I still can't answer the question but I feel like it's something I need to work on. What am I looking for? Is this something that I just find interesting, the way some people find computers, cars, fashions, or sports interesting? Perhaps she's right. Maybe I should stop trying to discourage this interest. I don't know. This is a step for me though. I'm going to stop criticizing myself for finding this interesting because it's not like I don't find it terrifying as well.
This will be something I bring at my next appointment.
The show reflects many murders happening in the New England where the killer seems to use stabbing as a signature. One of the first comments was how it was unusual for the victims to not have the sexual assault. However, I found myself saying out loud, "well that's what the knife is for." Of course, not more than ten minutes into the show they feature the convicted serial killer stating that stabbing is the act of penetration itself. Maybe it was something obvious. Maybe in my brief description, my far more intuitive friends were able to pick up on that without the obsessive interest in criminal psychology. For me, I find that I continue to surprise myself by what I know about sexual sadists and other aspects.
My therapist, after realizing that limiting my exposure might not be what I need, suggested a book written by one of the most prolific criminal psychologists out there. She asked why I was bothered by my intrigue. I couldn't answer the question. I still can't answer the question but I feel like it's something I need to work on. What am I looking for? Is this something that I just find interesting, the way some people find computers, cars, fashions, or sports interesting? Perhaps she's right. Maybe I should stop trying to discourage this interest. I don't know. This is a step for me though. I'm going to stop criticizing myself for finding this interesting because it's not like I don't find it terrifying as well.
This will be something I bring at my next appointment.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Filler
Lots of stuff happened today but I'm not in the mood to go into it. In fact, I'm waiting for Dave so we can watch the show Shark Tank together so really I'm just writing filler until he gets here. My post last night turned out not to be so bad so I don't mind it so much. Really what I need to start doing is begin writing for real. You know, actually just sit down and compose something. It doesn't even have to be good; it just needs to be more than what I'm doing now which is, "oh, it's time to scribble something/anything onto paper so I can I call it writing for the day." Sure, sometimes that works out and ends up being far more insightful than I every planned but it's not serious or real writing.
Okay, so Dabey is here and that is my cue to stop writing so we can snuggle. Bye!
Okay, so Dabey is here and that is my cue to stop writing so we can snuggle. Bye!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Self-made billionaires
I'm writing now because I don't particularly want to and I doubt that will change in 40 or 60 minutes. While I'm at work, I think of all the things I want to do once I get home. Then I come home and I either don't remember half of them or don't feel like doing it. I end up just sitting on the computer looking at Pinterest and sometimes Facebook. The next night I'm at work and I remember all of the things I want to do. I'm in that position now. I was talking to Dave and I was thinking about the things I wanted to look up or research. Then I sat down on the couch and I no longer remembered any of it. So I've decided to write while watching a 20/20 special on Billionaires.
They just mentioned that most self-made billionaires are risk takers who know how to respond to failure. Just those two characteristics made me realize that my road to being a self made billionaire will be practically impossible. I'm am not a risk taker and I definitely do not handle failure very well. Of course, I have no real desire is to be a billionaire at all; however, I have a very strong desire to be self-made financially independent. I want to be able to retire comfortably and I want to not have to worry about money in my life.
Right now, I'm watching a woman who buys failing companies and restructures them to profitable empires. She is not what you would think of as a billionaire. Her clothing is very provocative and she embodies what one might describe as trashy. She is the second businesswoman who isn't afraid to "be a woman" I've heard of in the past two days. Yesterday on NPR, they were interviewing a woman who is an extremely successful entrepreneur who is one of the judges on the show Shark Tank. When asked what it was like to be a women in an industry of men she said that she used it as a good thing. She said that she used to always wear mini-skirts and red power suits because she knew that it was important to be remembered and she didn't care if she was remembered as "the woman" or the "slut" or whatever name she might be called. She said that men need to work so much harder to be remembered.
"Successful people do all the things all unsuccessful people don't want to do." That's a quote from the man who launched the Paul Mitchell hair line. He talked about how you may go to 50 doors and have 50 doors slammed in your face. However, it is extremely important to be just as enthusiastic on door 51 as door 1. I personally believe that. So yeah, I guess I'm really need to continue to do that.
They just mentioned that most self-made billionaires are risk takers who know how to respond to failure. Just those two characteristics made me realize that my road to being a self made billionaire will be practically impossible. I'm am not a risk taker and I definitely do not handle failure very well. Of course, I have no real desire is to be a billionaire at all; however, I have a very strong desire to be self-made financially independent. I want to be able to retire comfortably and I want to not have to worry about money in my life.
Right now, I'm watching a woman who buys failing companies and restructures them to profitable empires. She is not what you would think of as a billionaire. Her clothing is very provocative and she embodies what one might describe as trashy. She is the second businesswoman who isn't afraid to "be a woman" I've heard of in the past two days. Yesterday on NPR, they were interviewing a woman who is an extremely successful entrepreneur who is one of the judges on the show Shark Tank. When asked what it was like to be a women in an industry of men she said that she used it as a good thing. She said that she used to always wear mini-skirts and red power suits because she knew that it was important to be remembered and she didn't care if she was remembered as "the woman" or the "slut" or whatever name she might be called. She said that men need to work so much harder to be remembered.
"Successful people do all the things all unsuccessful people don't want to do." That's a quote from the man who launched the Paul Mitchell hair line. He talked about how you may go to 50 doors and have 50 doors slammed in your face. However, it is extremely important to be just as enthusiastic on door 51 as door 1. I personally believe that. So yeah, I guess I'm really need to continue to do that.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Entry from my iPhone
This will be a very quick post for two reasons. The first reason being that I am writing in between sleep. I went to bed super early tonight so I awoke for this sole purpose. The second reason being that I am writing this from my iPhone. For some people writing with their smart phones is just as easy as a computer. My little cousin actually told me how she wrote one of her papers with her phone. I don't even know how she could do that but maybe that's just a reflection of my age. I grew up with a cell phone; however at the time it was so basic that texting wasn't a feature I could enjoy. Now it's like having a computer in the palm of your hand. I must admit that I don't regret surrendering to the smartphone technology. For years I resisted and only bought one because the non smartphone devices leave a lot to be desired as far as basic design goes. Anyway, watching Jamie with her iphone while in Paris solidified my decision. And just over a year later I bought one of my own. Dave even convinced me to get the new one with Siri and I'm glad I did as I use her all the time now.
Guess what? That's going to be it for the night. Yay for lowering my selfimposed writing requirements.
Guess what? That's going to be it for the night. Yay for lowering my selfimposed writing requirements.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Appreciation
For whatever reason, I sat here and stared at the blank screen for a bit before I began typing. It's been a while since I've done that. Writing on a daily basis is habit forming just like anything else and I'm really happy that I've developed this habit. A friend of mine wrote me a motivating Facebook message that she posted on my wall asking for more entries for my new blog. I keep thinking about it but I haven't sat down and written anything yet. Seriously she is one of the sweetest people I knew. How grateful I am to her for her kind words of encouragement! Once I write the second post, I'll have to send her something thanking her.
There are very few people who inspire me the way she does. There was a time that I couldn't imagine her being unhappy. She is one of those types of people who has the uncanny ability to befriend anyone she meets, lives life with such enthusiasm, and always seems to have a smile on her face. Of course, I am well aware that looks are deceiving. However, it wasn't until we met up again at another friend's housewarming party that she opened up to me a bit more and it was revealing. After leaving I not only admired her but also related to her as well. I understood. I had similar if not identical feelings. Since that party many of her wishes at the time are working out for her and I really couldn't be happier for her. Because of our busy lifestyles, we don't see each other as often as I would like. Hopefully, it will change.
In addition, another close of friend of mine began her own blog today. I don't want to give out details as I don't know if she's had the chance to get the word out and I don't want to steal her new blogging thunder. Once she does let out the word, I hope that you get the chance to read it. She is one of the most thoughtful people I know and her first two posts were wonderful.
I know I've said this before but I am so incredibly lucky. Despite my constant seeking to improve it, I am truly satisfied with everything I have now. The people in my life are great, the opportunities that are ahead of me are more than I could ever ask for, and I have more things than I need. What more can I ask for but to continue to do what I can to deserve it?
There are very few people who inspire me the way she does. There was a time that I couldn't imagine her being unhappy. She is one of those types of people who has the uncanny ability to befriend anyone she meets, lives life with such enthusiasm, and always seems to have a smile on her face. Of course, I am well aware that looks are deceiving. However, it wasn't until we met up again at another friend's housewarming party that she opened up to me a bit more and it was revealing. After leaving I not only admired her but also related to her as well. I understood. I had similar if not identical feelings. Since that party many of her wishes at the time are working out for her and I really couldn't be happier for her. Because of our busy lifestyles, we don't see each other as often as I would like. Hopefully, it will change.
In addition, another close of friend of mine began her own blog today. I don't want to give out details as I don't know if she's had the chance to get the word out and I don't want to steal her new blogging thunder. Once she does let out the word, I hope that you get the chance to read it. She is one of the most thoughtful people I know and her first two posts were wonderful.
I know I've said this before but I am so incredibly lucky. Despite my constant seeking to improve it, I am truly satisfied with everything I have now. The people in my life are great, the opportunities that are ahead of me are more than I could ever ask for, and I have more things than I need. What more can I ask for but to continue to do what I can to deserve it?
34th Annual Kennedy Center Honors
Wow. I almost forgot to write again tonight. Thankfully Dave reminded me before I headed off to bed. After work tonight we stayed up late and watched The Kennedy Center Honors. I had recorded it a while ago and I just felt like tonight was as good of a night to watch it as any. They honored Meryl Streep, Yo-Yo Ma, Sonny Rollins, Neil Diamond, and Barbara Cook. What an inspiring two hours! I was in tears by the end of it. The stories of the honorees' lives and how their tributes were represented were incredible.
I learned that Meryl Streep's first and most difficult role was in high school when she envisioned the person she wanted to be and sought to embody her. Ann Hathaway gave a musical tribute to her with a full song and dance number. I'm ashamed to admit that I had never heard of Sonny Rollins. Bill Cosby talked about how he is known across the world, yet I didn't know him at all. He is an 80 jazz musician who brought the tenor saxophone to life over the past 60 years. Barbara Cook, the incredible Broadway singer, was also honored. Glenn Close, among many other talented sopranos sang a beautiful collaboration of her many songs. Red Sox fans were featured in Neil Diamond's tribute with Sweet Caroline which I thought was the perfect touch. But it was Yo-Yo Ma's tribute that brought tears to my eyes. There's something about that man's charisma, his humbleness, his love of music that just takes my breath away. In his video biography they show him traveling the world embracing and collaborating with musical styles so wildly diverse from the cello. His tribute brought together many different styles conducted by the brilliant John Williams with "Here Comes the Sun" by James Taylor.
The two hour special was filled with such moving accolades and musical performances. The president and his wife sat alongside the honorees, interacted with them, and seemed to thoroughly enjoy the night. However, it was the expressions of those being honored as they watched what was crafted specially for them. The look in their eyes as they listened to the words and the music from colleagues and friends. Given more time, I might be able to better articulate watching this entire special but it's just after 4am and I must go to bed. What a wonderful thing to fall asleep thinking about.
I learned that Meryl Streep's first and most difficult role was in high school when she envisioned the person she wanted to be and sought to embody her. Ann Hathaway gave a musical tribute to her with a full song and dance number. I'm ashamed to admit that I had never heard of Sonny Rollins. Bill Cosby talked about how he is known across the world, yet I didn't know him at all. He is an 80 jazz musician who brought the tenor saxophone to life over the past 60 years. Barbara Cook, the incredible Broadway singer, was also honored. Glenn Close, among many other talented sopranos sang a beautiful collaboration of her many songs. Red Sox fans were featured in Neil Diamond's tribute with Sweet Caroline which I thought was the perfect touch. But it was Yo-Yo Ma's tribute that brought tears to my eyes. There's something about that man's charisma, his humbleness, his love of music that just takes my breath away. In his video biography they show him traveling the world embracing and collaborating with musical styles so wildly diverse from the cello. His tribute brought together many different styles conducted by the brilliant John Williams with "Here Comes the Sun" by James Taylor.
The two hour special was filled with such moving accolades and musical performances. The president and his wife sat alongside the honorees, interacted with them, and seemed to thoroughly enjoy the night. However, it was the expressions of those being honored as they watched what was crafted specially for them. The look in their eyes as they listened to the words and the music from colleagues and friends. Given more time, I might be able to better articulate watching this entire special but it's just after 4am and I must go to bed. What a wonderful thing to fall asleep thinking about.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Points and Projects
Sometimes certain website interfaces are annoying. Apparently video games don't work either because I just overheard Dave cussing it out. Maybe it's just one of those moments when things just want to bother us. He's continuing to swear at his and I'm still silently cursing the one I'm trying to work on. To quote Dave, "Why won't this work?!!" Sigh, I don't want to give up on it because it's already long past due but this is just plain frustrating. It's just told me that the plug in has become unresponsive again. WTF? Ah well, I'll just keep plugging away at it.
Dave and I did get to spend some quality time together today though. The person he was supposed to train today had to reschedule so he was able to take a personal day. We also were able to plan a relatively inexpensive getaway for February. I'm really excited about it. I continued to look online for different things for our apartment. What we realized is that we earn so many more points on our credit card if we simply make the purchases online rather than in the store. The two of us decided that we eventually would like our points to pay for us to go on a Mediterranean Cruise with our points. Sadly, something like that is super expensive but in the last year, we've already earned almost $1,000 in points. So it's totally doable. A Mediterranean Cruise is a dream of mine. How cool would it be to go for free?
Thing is, we are buying items and spending money on things we would pay for anyway. With this card and earning points that don't expire, each thing we purchase actually gives us more money toward our cruise. So yeah, we're looking at making our purchases at stores that earn us 4-20 points per dollar we spend to earn them quickly. Oddly enough, it will actually help me stay within budget. Shopping at Kohls earns us 10 points per dollar, JCPenney 6 points per dollar, and the majority of big point stores are more budget friendly. So yeah, so reason to look at Anthrolopogie this year. My clothing with be bought at the cheaper department stores. Even the annoying project from about will be worth 4 points per dollar. So yeah, super excited!
Dave and I did get to spend some quality time together today though. The person he was supposed to train today had to reschedule so he was able to take a personal day. We also were able to plan a relatively inexpensive getaway for February. I'm really excited about it. I continued to look online for different things for our apartment. What we realized is that we earn so many more points on our credit card if we simply make the purchases online rather than in the store. The two of us decided that we eventually would like our points to pay for us to go on a Mediterranean Cruise with our points. Sadly, something like that is super expensive but in the last year, we've already earned almost $1,000 in points. So it's totally doable. A Mediterranean Cruise is a dream of mine. How cool would it be to go for free?
Thing is, we are buying items and spending money on things we would pay for anyway. With this card and earning points that don't expire, each thing we purchase actually gives us more money toward our cruise. So yeah, we're looking at making our purchases at stores that earn us 4-20 points per dollar we spend to earn them quickly. Oddly enough, it will actually help me stay within budget. Shopping at Kohls earns us 10 points per dollar, JCPenney 6 points per dollar, and the majority of big point stores are more budget friendly. So yeah, so reason to look at Anthrolopogie this year. My clothing with be bought at the cheaper department stores. Even the annoying project from about will be worth 4 points per dollar. So yeah, super excited!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Blegh titles
It's only 10pm but I'm already exhausted. I tried to maneuver by many, many books into a couple of bookshelves but can't seem to fit them all. I'm going to have to go through more of them and determine if I actually want to keep them all. There are some that I know I won't reread or recommend to friends. Really, why else would I keep a book otherwise? So, I may be donating more books to the local library or nearby used bookstore. However, I'm content to just leave them lying on the floor right now. Overall though, I am happy with things as they are at the moment. I'm just really tired and don't want to do much more than play on my laptop right now.
In other good news, Katie and I got together earlier today. We went out for a mid-afternoon lunch and just sat and chatted for a while. It was really nice to see her and just talk with her about many different things. I don't get to see her or any of my friends often enough. I had so much more to say but they've escaped from my brain at the moment. I'm going to go chill.
In other good news, Katie and I got together earlier today. We went out for a mid-afternoon lunch and just sat and chatted for a while. It was really nice to see her and just talk with her about many different things. I don't get to see her or any of my friends often enough. I had so much more to say but they've escaped from my brain at the moment. I'm going to go chill.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
My husband
I love my husband. The other night, as I was falling asleep I thought, "you know, so many girls long for the love they read about in novels. I've found a love that's so much more than anything I've read." I'm so incredibly lucky. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve finding such an incredible man. When I came home tonight, I found myself wishing that he wouldn't go to work tomorrow. Of course, I know he must but I just want him all for myself. I want us to be together all day, everyday. It's strange. These kinds of feelings are supposed to subside after 4 years. Sure, we've only been married a few months but we've been together for quite a while. How incredible that I still feel this way.
I do just want to hole up with him for a while. It's strange because I've never really felt this way before. It's like I want to go away again and just have him all to myself again. I love our friends and family but I want just him all day and all night. I don't want to let him go. I don't want him to leave me. It seems very clingy but I don't ever care. Really, in the end, it isn't clingy at all. Wanting him with me all the time is just that, a want. I don't need him; I just want him. He makes me happy when he's with me. I feel like I can do more than I dreamed. I just love him so much.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Apartment Work
Dave and I didn't get as much done on the apartment as I would have liked today though some progress was made. I woke up super late. Going nonstop yesterday certainly has its side effects. We did get to IKEA and spent a lot of money but luckily I had enough gift cards that it basically cut our total in half. It was nice going in there today with only a basic need for inspiration as we already have a pretty good idea of what we want for the place. When we came home Dave spent a good amount of time hammering and drilling so that we have a few of the pieces we bought up. I spent the evening on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor. Somehow though, despite all of our work I feel like I'm going to bed with an even bigger mess on our hands.
Yes, I know these things (complete apartment overhauls) take time but I'm feeling rather impatient. I want it done and I want done now. Currently Dave is yelling at our new light fixture so clearly he's frustrated as well. I know we'll get through it and that every small step we take brings us closer to our end goal. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Right now though I'm exhausted. I think that Dave is too. It's only 11 but we both have to work tomorrow and I do want to wake up and get a bit more done before I head in. I'm not used to having my days back. I keep looking at the week and wondering how I'm going to fit it all in but then I remember that I don't have to work on Wednesday or Thursday and I feel a bit better.
Alright, I'm going to go and try and relax. Possibly read for a bit. Dave is going to be building our second set of shelves and then I hope that he takes a break as well. If he does that tonight then I will definitely have plenty to occupy my time tomorrow. I won't be able to say that we didn't do enough for tomorrow so I have no excuse. It's just a matter of overcoming my general laziness.
Yes, I know these things (complete apartment overhauls) take time but I'm feeling rather impatient. I want it done and I want done now. Currently Dave is yelling at our new light fixture so clearly he's frustrated as well. I know we'll get through it and that every small step we take brings us closer to our end goal. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Right now though I'm exhausted. I think that Dave is too. It's only 11 but we both have to work tomorrow and I do want to wake up and get a bit more done before I head in. I'm not used to having my days back. I keep looking at the week and wondering how I'm going to fit it all in but then I remember that I don't have to work on Wednesday or Thursday and I feel a bit better.
Alright, I'm going to go and try and relax. Possibly read for a bit. Dave is going to be building our second set of shelves and then I hope that he takes a break as well. If he does that tonight then I will definitely have plenty to occupy my time tomorrow. I won't be able to say that we didn't do enough for tomorrow so I have no excuse. It's just a matter of overcoming my general laziness.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Weddings and Disney movies
Quick post tonight because it's super late. I only got home a little over an hour ago as I went to my parents after work today. We discussed my sister's upcoming wedding and I told everyone about the ideas that Katie had and they loved them. I love that Katie can make just about anything classy so she was able to take the initial idea that we had and totally run with it. Laura is at that wedding planning stage where she wants to do everything from photo booths to fireworks. Of course practicality will force certain decisions to be made but this is still the fun contemplation stage where just about anything goes. It's part of the reason I like having a theme. It helps to focus your ideas. As the theme takes form it helps to narrow down your thoughts. For example, renting a photo booth for 4 hours suddenly didn't seem to fit into the shape of my rustic themed wedding despite the fact that I loved the idea when I first saw it. Neither did fireworks (and I adore fireworks). So, we have to allow her to contemplate and see what Ben and her really like away from the many ideas thrown out by family (or just me).
Jamie also stopped by and the three of us went to go see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. I don't know how I feel about the whole 3D craze but I really am enjoying the movies from my childhood coming back to the big screen. I love watching movies on the big screen in the theater. Sure the movie is the same when it comes out of DVD but it just never seems to have that all encompassing effect that being immersed in a theater provides. It's really cool to see these movies on the big screen because I was so little when they initially were released. Many of these movies I was too young to see in the theater so it's really a first for me. It's kind of strange seeing a movie that you've already watched a million times on the big screen. I like it. It's also really cool watching these movies influence a whole new generation of small children. I love it actually in the way I love how one good book passes through the fingers of the many who borrow it from the original owner.
After the movie, my dad helped me pack the remaining wedding gifts. I decided it was finally time to find a home and begin to actually use the wonderful items people gave us. Over the past few months, I've been thinking a lot about how I wanted to decorate this place. It overwhelmed me at first but as time progressed a picture became more and more clear. When I got home at almost 1 am, I finally told Dave some of what I have been envisioning. Hopefully we'll be able to take a trip to IKEA tomorrow and possibly Bed, Bath, and Beyond to make the purchases. I really want to make at least a little bit of progress of the place on our day off. I'm totally motivated by our recent work and I don't want to lose it.
Anyway, we have a busy day ahead tomorrow so I'm going to go get some rest.
Jamie also stopped by and the three of us went to go see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. I don't know how I feel about the whole 3D craze but I really am enjoying the movies from my childhood coming back to the big screen. I love watching movies on the big screen in the theater. Sure the movie is the same when it comes out of DVD but it just never seems to have that all encompassing effect that being immersed in a theater provides. It's really cool to see these movies on the big screen because I was so little when they initially were released. Many of these movies I was too young to see in the theater so it's really a first for me. It's kind of strange seeing a movie that you've already watched a million times on the big screen. I like it. It's also really cool watching these movies influence a whole new generation of small children. I love it actually in the way I love how one good book passes through the fingers of the many who borrow it from the original owner.
After the movie, my dad helped me pack the remaining wedding gifts. I decided it was finally time to find a home and begin to actually use the wonderful items people gave us. Over the past few months, I've been thinking a lot about how I wanted to decorate this place. It overwhelmed me at first but as time progressed a picture became more and more clear. When I got home at almost 1 am, I finally told Dave some of what I have been envisioning. Hopefully we'll be able to take a trip to IKEA tomorrow and possibly Bed, Bath, and Beyond to make the purchases. I really want to make at least a little bit of progress of the place on our day off. I'm totally motivated by our recent work and I don't want to lose it.
Anyway, we have a busy day ahead tomorrow so I'm going to go get some rest.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
According to Plan
I enjoy days that go exactly as you hope they would. Despite going to bed super late night, I actually woke up at 8am not long after Dave left for work. I was able to empty the dishwasher, complete two more loads of laundry, and managed to empty a few of the giant boxes filled with stuff to sort through later. We still have some things lingering from the wedding and the honeymoon that we need to sort and organize. We've really made some decent progress thus far. Hopefully by the end of the holiday weekend, we'll be have completed a few rooms. It's exciting actually.
Dave also got lucky and was able to get out of work around 11ish which allowed us drive to Framingham together. We were originally going to meet at the college when he got out of work but we didn't have to so that was super awesome. We showed Brian around the campus and talked about his plans. Afterward we took him to Five Guys and when we were finished eating I handed him the application and had him complete it while we sat there. I figured it was harder to make excuses to your cousin than a guidance counselor or parents who are pushing it. He's got that out of the way now so he won't have to worry about it. He's such a good kid. Both Dave and I want to hang out with him just regularly. It's kind of cool that they are at an age that I don't feel like they are too young to hang out with my crowd. Yes, the age difference is still the same but 22 and 12 is very different than 27 and 17.
Skating was also a really good time. I forget how much I miss it. Dave also enjoys just watching me skate around the rink. It's flattering. I don't have to do anything special. No jumps, no spins, no wacky footwork. Just my skating around is impressive to him. It's really cool. We didn't skate very long, only about a half hour, but even the little bit we did made me feel so good about myself. I felt refreshed and energized in a way I haven't before. I don't think I've ever been admired like that before for doing something so natural for me. It was wonderful.
Dinner also was a perfect way to end out night out together. We had lovely time with Thom and Laura. Dave feels really comfortable with Thom, something kind of unusual for Dave but I accredit that to Thom's charisma. He just knows how to make people feel comfortable and that's such a rare quality. Laura and I were also able to have quite an interesting conversation. I only really knew how much Thom liked her but didn't know much about who she is at all. It was so awesome of them to come to Worcester to see us. They were coming from Manchester and it would actually be easier for them to come to Woburn.
Now, we are watching what is so far quite a good football game. The second half just started so I don't want to jinx anything but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they don't give up this incredible lead.
Dave also got lucky and was able to get out of work around 11ish which allowed us drive to Framingham together. We were originally going to meet at the college when he got out of work but we didn't have to so that was super awesome. We showed Brian around the campus and talked about his plans. Afterward we took him to Five Guys and when we were finished eating I handed him the application and had him complete it while we sat there. I figured it was harder to make excuses to your cousin than a guidance counselor or parents who are pushing it. He's got that out of the way now so he won't have to worry about it. He's such a good kid. Both Dave and I want to hang out with him just regularly. It's kind of cool that they are at an age that I don't feel like they are too young to hang out with my crowd. Yes, the age difference is still the same but 22 and 12 is very different than 27 and 17.
Skating was also a really good time. I forget how much I miss it. Dave also enjoys just watching me skate around the rink. It's flattering. I don't have to do anything special. No jumps, no spins, no wacky footwork. Just my skating around is impressive to him. It's really cool. We didn't skate very long, only about a half hour, but even the little bit we did made me feel so good about myself. I felt refreshed and energized in a way I haven't before. I don't think I've ever been admired like that before for doing something so natural for me. It was wonderful.
Dinner also was a perfect way to end out night out together. We had lovely time with Thom and Laura. Dave feels really comfortable with Thom, something kind of unusual for Dave but I accredit that to Thom's charisma. He just knows how to make people feel comfortable and that's such a rare quality. Laura and I were also able to have quite an interesting conversation. I only really knew how much Thom liked her but didn't know much about who she is at all. It was so awesome of them to come to Worcester to see us. They were coming from Manchester and it would actually be easier for them to come to Woburn.
Now, we are watching what is so far quite a good football game. The second half just started so I don't want to jinx anything but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they don't give up this incredible lead.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Productive
Almost forgot to write again tonight. Totally glad that I had the night off even if Dave and I spent a good portion of it cleaning the apartment. Originally we were going to go to IKEA to get some more items but dinner and getting Dave's new skates sharpened took longer than expected. So instead we came home and Dave hung up the wine rack, the coat rack, and the magazine rack that have been sitting around forever. He also took down our Christmas tree (yes, we still hadn't done that) and removed the closet doors so I can have my closet office. We had no idea just how big they were but luckily they fit wonderfully in our storage space. I did the laundry and cleaned the kitchen. By clean the kitchen, I mean that I washed the dishes and scrubbed the counters and the walls. When I clean, I kind of go a bit overboard I still need to wash the floors, organize the cabinets, and the refrigerator. Instead I'm now working on putting away the Christmas decorations before eventually going to bed.
Tomorrow, we have a very busy day planned but I'm looking forward to it. Unfortunately, Dave does have to work tomorrow morning but we're both hoping that it doesn't last very long. I'm actually going back to Framingham State to show the campus to my younger cousin. He is interested in attending there next fall so I'm going to meet him, show him around and tell him about the school, and maybe take him out to lunch. He totally turned into a really cool guy and it's awesome that he's excited to meet me. Once Dave gets out of work we are planning on going skating at the DCU Center who is having free public skating which I'm super, super excited about. Thom and his new girlfriend were going to join us but because they are unable to rent skates, they are just going to meet us after to go out to dinner. Our hope is that we'll be home by 8 or 9pm so that we can watch the Patriots game tomorrow night as it's kind of a big game. Being so close to Alli's new place makes the fact that I won't be seeing her my biggest regret. How did I not do something to try and make plans? Probably because until yesterday I was doing a really decent job of being a hermit.
So yeah, I'm excited about tomorrow. I feel like I should go to bed but I'm not tired yet. I will be tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow, we have a very busy day planned but I'm looking forward to it. Unfortunately, Dave does have to work tomorrow morning but we're both hoping that it doesn't last very long. I'm actually going back to Framingham State to show the campus to my younger cousin. He is interested in attending there next fall so I'm going to meet him, show him around and tell him about the school, and maybe take him out to lunch. He totally turned into a really cool guy and it's awesome that he's excited to meet me. Once Dave gets out of work we are planning on going skating at the DCU Center who is having free public skating which I'm super, super excited about. Thom and his new girlfriend were going to join us but because they are unable to rent skates, they are just going to meet us after to go out to dinner. Our hope is that we'll be home by 8 or 9pm so that we can watch the Patriots game tomorrow night as it's kind of a big game. Being so close to Alli's new place makes the fact that I won't be seeing her my biggest regret. How did I not do something to try and make plans? Probably because until yesterday I was doing a really decent job of being a hermit.
So yeah, I'm excited about tomorrow. I feel like I should go to bed but I'm not tired yet. I will be tomorrow morning.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Good Decisions
Good day today. My first guilt-free weekday off in a while and it was very nice. I slept in, mindlessly perused the internet, caught up on my crime shows, had an almost 2 hour phone conversation with Katie, talked with Jamie for a bit when she came over after work, and then had a relaxing night with Dave. Best of all is that I have tomorrow off too and Saturday! I'm already feeling so much better than yesterday. What I didn't realize is that by all of this work, I was feeling incredibly out of touch with loved ones.
It was really wonderful to talk with Katie about life and other things. I missed my friends. I missed having time out for me. I'm glad that seeing Dave tonight wasn't competing with exhaustion. This was a very good decision. It's also going to allow me to really focus on the goals I have. Hopefully I'll do more writing and whatnot. I want to get this apartment done. It's way overdue and I'm annoyed by living with the clutter and junk. This weekend is a long one and I think we can do a pretty decent job of getting things done.
It was really wonderful to talk with Katie about life and other things. I missed my friends. I missed having time out for me. I'm glad that seeing Dave tonight wasn't competing with exhaustion. This was a very good decision. It's also going to allow me to really focus on the goals I have. Hopefully I'll do more writing and whatnot. I want to get this apartment done. It's way overdue and I'm annoyed by living with the clutter and junk. This weekend is a long one and I think we can do a pretty decent job of getting things done.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Change
I resigned from my day job today though I doubt that comes as any surprise to any of you considering my recent posts. Honestly, I thought that I'd feel better but I just feel drained. The last few days were full of anxiety and today was just overly emotional. Top it off and my mom told me some news that was unsettling. My nerves just feel frayed and I just want to zone out. It hasn't sunk in yet. For the next couple of days I'm just going to relax. It doesn't help that I'm PMSing or that I'm exhausted from a very disjointed and uncomfortable sleep.
Dave actually made a big deal about me writing today. I almost released myself from my daily responsibility. Actually, I did. I gave myself permission to not write but he made a stink about it. Not in a bad way, but in the way that it made me second guess my wanting to just go to bed. He focused on how much this not writing blip would be something I would definitely regret later and he's totally right. So one more day of writing achieved.
Dave actually made a big deal about me writing today. I almost released myself from my daily responsibility. Actually, I did. I gave myself permission to not write but he made a stink about it. Not in a bad way, but in the way that it made me second guess my wanting to just go to bed. He focused on how much this not writing blip would be something I would definitely regret later and he's totally right. So one more day of writing achieved.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Not much tonight
It was difficult to get through work tonight because I'm so anxious. I've talked to Dave and my parents about it but until I've actually done it, I don't want to mention it here. All I know is that it's probably not going to be pretty but I've just got to do it. At times like these I need to remember that the anticipatory anxiety can be a lot worse than the actual deed itself. I just don't want to deal with it at all. It's one of those things we're avoidance is always preferable.
Like last night, because my thoughts are so consumed with this, I feel like there is nothing to write about. I don't want to write anything. Sorry, I know I've been like this for a while now. I promise I'll change that very soon.
Like last night, because my thoughts are so consumed with this, I feel like there is nothing to write about. I don't want to write anything. Sorry, I know I've been like this for a while now. I promise I'll change that very soon.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Something else
So I just written an entire post and have decided that I don't want to post it. As a result, here I am writing yet another one. On the good side, I've saved it as a draft so I can refer to it later. I do wish that I could password protect or lock posts but blogger is meant as a blogging website and not as an online journal like livejournal. I took today off from my day job and I think I'll be taking tomorrow as well. I'm struggling with a big decision (which I wrote about earlier) and I think I've figured out how to go about handling it but I'm still fretting. I need the extra day. A large part of me is hoping that it will help me in making the decision by not requiring me to do so; however, I know that is unlikely.
Because I don't want to discuss it now, it makes this an extremely difficult post to compose. It's one of those moments where I just want to be alone with my thoughts. They are private thoughts and they are all consuming. I can hardly think of anything else of which to write. I am putting together a timeline for my 27 Goals to help me get things done. It's become quite a project. I go through each goal, break it down, and when I'm done I will have a nice packet to help guide me. Alright, I'm done writing now. I've been writing for 45 minutes even if it doesn't show right now.
Because I don't want to discuss it now, it makes this an extremely difficult post to compose. It's one of those moments where I just want to be alone with my thoughts. They are private thoughts and they are all consuming. I can hardly think of anything else of which to write. I am putting together a timeline for my 27 Goals to help me get things done. It's become quite a project. I go through each goal, break it down, and when I'm done I will have a nice packet to help guide me. Alright, I'm done writing now. I've been writing for 45 minutes even if it doesn't show right now.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Sea Monkeys
Look! I'm writing early again. So far the writing earlier is working for me. I love that it's done and out of the way so if I randomly crash and want to go to bed I can. It's like a new found freedom. Fascinating, really. Who knew that not procrastinating can be freeing? Does this mean I'm growing up a bit? Finally? Possibly. I hope it's not a phase because I like it.
While at work today, Brittany sent me a text message that made my life feel surreal for it bit. She asked me if I could go feed the seamonkeys located in client services. At first I was like, "we've got seamonkeys? How did I not know this?" I told her I would go feed them for her and went into the client service department and could not find them for the life of me. I sent her a second text asking her to be more specific and she responded with, "make sure they are still moving. I'll be in so much trouble if I starved them to death." I couldn't help but wonder if she is messing with me. She then told me they were next to the fish tank and I was like, seriously, she's totally messing with me.
So I did what any confused employee would do and brought my coworkers into the ridiculousness. Maria and I then went hunting in client services again when we finally stumbled upon this itty bitty tank. that appeared to have absolutely nothing in it until we put the magnifying glass to it and saw these little tiny creatures swimming around in there. The whole thing was entirely absurd and hilarious at the same time. Apparently this little, almost invisible creatures are going to get a tiny bit bigger so we shouldn't need a magnifying glass much longer. I look forward to seeing what they grow into!
While at work today, Brittany sent me a text message that made my life feel surreal for it bit. She asked me if I could go feed the seamonkeys located in client services. At first I was like, "we've got seamonkeys? How did I not know this?" I told her I would go feed them for her and went into the client service department and could not find them for the life of me. I sent her a second text asking her to be more specific and she responded with, "make sure they are still moving. I'll be in so much trouble if I starved them to death." I couldn't help but wonder if she is messing with me. She then told me they were next to the fish tank and I was like, seriously, she's totally messing with me.
So I did what any confused employee would do and brought my coworkers into the ridiculousness. Maria and I then went hunting in client services again when we finally stumbled upon this itty bitty tank. that appeared to have absolutely nothing in it until we put the magnifying glass to it and saw these little tiny creatures swimming around in there. The whole thing was entirely absurd and hilarious at the same time. Apparently this little, almost invisible creatures are going to get a tiny bit bigger so we shouldn't need a magnifying glass much longer. I look forward to seeing what they grow into!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Family Day
Happy Saturday. Today Dave and I spent the whole day with my family which to me is a good thing. I thoroughly enjoy my family especially our big family gatherings. We had our holiday Christmas/New Year's party with the whole family from my mother's side. I'll admit that I was a bit nervous about seeing two of my cousins who rsvp'd to the wedding but then never showed and haven't spoken to me at all. Honestly, I didn't even care all that much that they didn't come but it really bothered me that I never heard from them after. Even saying something as simple as "something came up" but nothing. These were cousins that I really thought I was close too.
In truth, I think they were mad because I told my aunt that my cousin's son could not be her date to the wedding because I opted to have a "no kids" wedding affair. Honestly, I even understand them choosing not to come because of that. I just wish they said something to me. They didn't and I have to admit that I was nervous about a confrontation today. There was no confrontation. Instead there was nothing at all. The entire 4 hours were spent and I never said hi to them and they never said hi to me. After about two hours, I felt like I was really being pathetic because this isn't a big deal and it doesn't seem like it's worth severing ties over. I had a great time at my wedding and harping over two people and their guests not showing is super petty.
Still, after two hours, what was I going to say? They made little to zero effort to approach me though I could tell the younger cousin wanted to come over but didn't seem to know how. I kind of regret that I didn't come across as more approachable. Overall, the entire event went by without any words being spoken and it makes me really sad. Luckily, I have such a large, amazing family so it was actually awesome. I adore my younger cousins. All of them. They are such great people.
Later we went home to my parents with my sister and discussed my sister's potential wedding. I'm really excited about it. In fact, I plan to do more research on it when I get home.
In truth, I think they were mad because I told my aunt that my cousin's son could not be her date to the wedding because I opted to have a "no kids" wedding affair. Honestly, I even understand them choosing not to come because of that. I just wish they said something to me. They didn't and I have to admit that I was nervous about a confrontation today. There was no confrontation. Instead there was nothing at all. The entire 4 hours were spent and I never said hi to them and they never said hi to me. After about two hours, I felt like I was really being pathetic because this isn't a big deal and it doesn't seem like it's worth severing ties over. I had a great time at my wedding and harping over two people and their guests not showing is super petty.
Still, after two hours, what was I going to say? They made little to zero effort to approach me though I could tell the younger cousin wanted to come over but didn't seem to know how. I kind of regret that I didn't come across as more approachable. Overall, the entire event went by without any words being spoken and it makes me really sad. Luckily, I have such a large, amazing family so it was actually awesome. I adore my younger cousins. All of them. They are such great people.
Later we went home to my parents with my sister and discussed my sister's potential wedding. I'm really excited about it. In fact, I plan to do more research on it when I get home.
Friday, January 6, 2012
bleck
I got stuck at work super late tonight and didn't end up leaving until almost midnight. Last night I went to bed immediately after typing my post at about 8pm and slept through the whole night. I woke up with a massive headache and called in for the morning. I continued to sleep as I just felt so exhausted. When I woke up I felt better and I went to work. While at my night job my headache began to creep back. By the time I left, I felt miserable. I still feel miserable. I truly hope I am not getting sick. Everyone at my night job is sick. Brittany called in, two of my other coworkers' children are sick, and I just really don't want to become another sick person.
Alright, you know what? I'm totally breaking my 2 paragraph rule. I don't want write anymore and none of you need to deal with my ramblings. Good night.
Alright, you know what? I'm totally breaking my 2 paragraph rule. I don't want write anymore and none of you need to deal with my ramblings. Good night.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Putting something down for the night
I'm writing my post early tonight. Katniss Everdeen and her Hunger Games have my complete attention outside of work. Last night I stayed up until almost 2am finishing the second book. My coworker let me borrow the series and Dave has already plowed through them. Since I'm lying in bed reading, I feel the tiredness from my lack of sleep last night taking hold. I knew that I either write this post now or very begrudging wake myself up later to write. As much as I've enjoyed writing every night, I' miss my freedom of crashing early and not having to worry about whether I've written something that day. I suppose the trade off isn't so bad if I sit down to write early enough.
Right now I'm trying to resist the temptation to just stop at the above paragraph. I don't know why I've given myself the short two paragraph obligation but I feel like it doesn't count if I only spend five minutes typing. It does. If any a second paragraph can ruin a post especially if it's about the self enforced 2 paragraph minimum. When I first got home I intended to do a bit more toward my goals and make some progress but now my top priority is finish the third and final book. I suppose that in and of itself is part of my goals but it's one the easier, more fun of the goals. Perhaps I'll try again tomorrow.
Right now I'm trying to resist the temptation to just stop at the above paragraph. I don't know why I've given myself the short two paragraph obligation but I feel like it doesn't count if I only spend five minutes typing. It does. If any a second paragraph can ruin a post especially if it's about the self enforced 2 paragraph minimum. When I first got home I intended to do a bit more toward my goals and make some progress but now my top priority is finish the third and final book. I suppose that in and of itself is part of my goals but it's one the easier, more fun of the goals. Perhaps I'll try again tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Productivity
Still no interview today. It will probably end up being tomorrow when I don't want it to be. The outfit I have picked out for the day is my least favorite for the week so I may have to reconsider it. People at the office noticed and complimented me on it. I also told then that it's a New Year's resolution so I feel that I need to maintain some accountability. As you all know, it's the accountability factor that makes me stick with things. I also am bringing more food to work with me which means that I'm less hungry during the day and therefore the candy jar is far less tempting.
Work started out rough for me today. By 11am I was certain that my boss was going to give up on me and tell the owner of the company (who I think I saw today but still haven't met yet) that she was no longer considering hiring me permanently. I just kept making stupid, little mistakes all morning and it was clear that she was getting frustrated with me. It got to the point where I actually wrote down each of the mistakes in my notebook so as I remind me to smarten up and get with it. They were dumb mistakes. Not the justifiable ones that everyone makes. Things she's already corrected me on--the most irritating.
However, after writing my list, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that what is going to happen will happen and just kept on working. You know, I used to think that if my work gave me the luxury of goofing off while at work, I'd take advantage of it. I always thought that the reason I didn't check my personal e-mail, dabble on Pinterest, or read my news feed during work was because my prior company had our computers under lock down. There was a part of me that wondered if I would partake in those simple distractions if I could.
Here's the thing though. I don't. My day job isn't like the night job where doing something non work related will get you in seriously trouble. They don't monitor me for the slightest offenses. Heck, if I need a break they actually allow it. I have a far greater sense of freedom. Obviously, spending the entire day doing my own thing and being paid for it would not only be noticed but harshly reprimanded but I could easily get away with small snip-its. I still don't. I walk by some of my coworkers and see then looking at shoes or completing a crossword puzzle or even reading at times but the idea of that is super weird to me.
They aren't paying me to read or to pin things on my online boards. I wouldn't even consider it. I feel guilty taking a 15 minute break in addition to my lunch and almost never do. My boss has to remind me to take my lunch because I feel like I have to get a particular task done. I fear that if I take a break and something isn't done when it's needed then I'll look like I'm slacking off. I don't know how others do it. I pride myself of having something ready before I am asked for it. Making those mistakes this morning, I was super embarrassed.
I didn't treat school this way. Maybe it's because I'm being paid for and I feel as if I have to earn the money. Almost as if I'm stealing if I don't produce. I'm there to work and work I do. Clearly, I have more of my parents in me than I realized. Someday, I need to treat my daily life in the same way. Maybe if I can do what I do at work at home, I'll actually get things accomplished. But then I don't get paid to do anything at home and the only person I truly risk disappointing is myself and I've done that so many times over my life that I've just come to expect it.
On the other hand, I did complete the goal of writing for one year and though I haven't posted on the other blog I am making gains on my 27 things. I just have to keep working on it. Perhaps it is possible for me to be as productive outside of the office as in. Oh, and as an aside. Later in the day, my boss saw the mistakes that I wrote down in my notebook. She took it, wrote on it, and gave it back to me saying that she needed to edit my notes. When I looked at it I saw that she had scribbled in black pen over what I had written and initialed it the way she edits the rest of my work. It was a nice way to end the day.
Work started out rough for me today. By 11am I was certain that my boss was going to give up on me and tell the owner of the company (who I think I saw today but still haven't met yet) that she was no longer considering hiring me permanently. I just kept making stupid, little mistakes all morning and it was clear that she was getting frustrated with me. It got to the point where I actually wrote down each of the mistakes in my notebook so as I remind me to smarten up and get with it. They were dumb mistakes. Not the justifiable ones that everyone makes. Things she's already corrected me on--the most irritating.
However, after writing my list, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that what is going to happen will happen and just kept on working. You know, I used to think that if my work gave me the luxury of goofing off while at work, I'd take advantage of it. I always thought that the reason I didn't check my personal e-mail, dabble on Pinterest, or read my news feed during work was because my prior company had our computers under lock down. There was a part of me that wondered if I would partake in those simple distractions if I could.
Here's the thing though. I don't. My day job isn't like the night job where doing something non work related will get you in seriously trouble. They don't monitor me for the slightest offenses. Heck, if I need a break they actually allow it. I have a far greater sense of freedom. Obviously, spending the entire day doing my own thing and being paid for it would not only be noticed but harshly reprimanded but I could easily get away with small snip-its. I still don't. I walk by some of my coworkers and see then looking at shoes or completing a crossword puzzle or even reading at times but the idea of that is super weird to me.
They aren't paying me to read or to pin things on my online boards. I wouldn't even consider it. I feel guilty taking a 15 minute break in addition to my lunch and almost never do. My boss has to remind me to take my lunch because I feel like I have to get a particular task done. I fear that if I take a break and something isn't done when it's needed then I'll look like I'm slacking off. I don't know how others do it. I pride myself of having something ready before I am asked for it. Making those mistakes this morning, I was super embarrassed.
I didn't treat school this way. Maybe it's because I'm being paid for and I feel as if I have to earn the money. Almost as if I'm stealing if I don't produce. I'm there to work and work I do. Clearly, I have more of my parents in me than I realized. Someday, I need to treat my daily life in the same way. Maybe if I can do what I do at work at home, I'll actually get things accomplished. But then I don't get paid to do anything at home and the only person I truly risk disappointing is myself and I've done that so many times over my life that I've just come to expect it.
On the other hand, I did complete the goal of writing for one year and though I haven't posted on the other blog I am making gains on my 27 things. I just have to keep working on it. Perhaps it is possible for me to be as productive outside of the office as in. Oh, and as an aside. Later in the day, my boss saw the mistakes that I wrote down in my notebook. She took it, wrote on it, and gave it back to me saying that she needed to edit my notes. When I looked at it I saw that she had scribbled in black pen over what I had written and initialed it the way she edits the rest of my work. It was a nice way to end the day.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
To get things done
There are times when I make inaccurate assumptions. For example, when I stated that there was
absolutely no way that we were going to attain the numbers that we needed
during our day job, I was wrong. During
these times, I try and look back to reassess the situation as there may be
something to be learned. When I
initially made that statement our numbers were nowhere near what they needed to
be in order to reach our goal by the end of the year. I find it interesting that I would have just
given up if I had been the manager. I
would have given up, admitted defeat, and tried to do what I could to salvage
what was left of the account.
My boss didn’t. She
pushed harder and got on people’s cases.
There were times that one could argue that she pushed too hard and it
backfired but for the most part, her perseverance paid off. She had a lot of obstacles to get over too
including try to put a fire under the staff who, like me, had also thrown in
the towel. She also had to deal with
the holiday obstacle; no one wants to schedule or conduct an in home visit
right before or right after the holidays.
It’s a busy, stressful time of year for everyone. What
is it that she saw that I didn’t? Then I
realized that I would have been way too afraid to push like that.
Once again, it comes down to the fact that I am horribly
uncomfortable with being perceived as a bitch. There were times when people did
perceive my boss that way and she knew it.
She didn’t care. She had a job to
complete and she wasn’t going to let other people’s opinions of her get in the
way of that. Will I ever be as
aggressive as her? I doubt it. Like I
said, I am a believer that you get more flies with honey than vinegar. However, imagine what I could do if I met her
half way. Who knows? Maybe during my time here, it will begin to
rub off a bit.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Trying
My work let me out early tonight. It has been super dead for since Christmas and we've been able to maintain the impossible by keeping our Falcon numbers at zero and all the online requests responded to and all the days work completed and QC'd. That and the call volume is also really low. As a result for the past couple of nights we've been able to send people home early. Today, I requested that I could be one of the ones who went home. Still, to be fair, we put our names in a hat and picked two names. Luckily I was one of them.
I was really grateful because tomorrow we are supposed to be visited by the owner of the company. He's going to be there for the next couple of weeks. I know that there is a very, very good chance that I will be meeting with him tomorrow or Wednesday. It was good to go home, take a shower, get my clothes ready, and just chill out. I actually got my clothes ready for the rest of the week. I'm really trying to become more aware and put more effort in the clothing I wear. If I'm going to wake up, roll out of bed, and throw something on then I can at least choose what I will throw on before going to bed. Or a week in advance which is probably better for someone like me.
So we'll see. I went and bought a couple of pairs of sweater tights at TJ Maxx because I'm always cold. Always. It's really become obnoxious. I hate the fact that no matter where I go, what season it is, it's always too cold inside for me. I swear, what most people consider a comfortable temperature is approximately 5 degrees colder than the temperature I'm most comfortable at. I always feel like I have to bundle up and I tend to find layers super uncomfortable. So I end up in big, bulky, think sweaters, pants, and constantly have warm water nearby to keep my hands warm.
So I'm hoping to get over that. Maybe somehow figure out a way to trick my mind into making my body feel warmer than I do.
I was really grateful because tomorrow we are supposed to be visited by the owner of the company. He's going to be there for the next couple of weeks. I know that there is a very, very good chance that I will be meeting with him tomorrow or Wednesday. It was good to go home, take a shower, get my clothes ready, and just chill out. I actually got my clothes ready for the rest of the week. I'm really trying to become more aware and put more effort in the clothing I wear. If I'm going to wake up, roll out of bed, and throw something on then I can at least choose what I will throw on before going to bed. Or a week in advance which is probably better for someone like me.
So we'll see. I went and bought a couple of pairs of sweater tights at TJ Maxx because I'm always cold. Always. It's really become obnoxious. I hate the fact that no matter where I go, what season it is, it's always too cold inside for me. I swear, what most people consider a comfortable temperature is approximately 5 degrees colder than the temperature I'm most comfortable at. I always feel like I have to bundle up and I tend to find layers super uncomfortable. So I end up in big, bulky, think sweaters, pants, and constantly have warm water nearby to keep my hands warm.
So I'm hoping to get over that. Maybe somehow figure out a way to trick my mind into making my body feel warmer than I do.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Day one of the new year
New Year's Day is almost over. I hope that all of you had a nice beginning to the year as I did. The day was bright, sunny, warm, and beautiful. Of course going to bed super late and waking up early to watch the sunrise meant that Dave and I slept most of the day. Driving home from Newport was difficult but we got home and I crashed while watching the Patriots Game. My only regret is that we missed the polar bear plunge. The polar bear plunge or as Dave calls it, the polar bear jump, is when a bunch of crazy people run into the ocean on the first of the year. The ocean is warmer at this time of year than it is during the summer. Anyway, they ran into the ocean at the beach right across the street from us. We just didn't know about it so we missed it.
So since I slept all day I need to do something tonight to make it a more productive start to the new year. Luckily, I don't have to work tomorrow morning so I can stay up a bit later than I normally would want. Thank goodness because there is no way I would be able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. When I woke up CBS was on from the game and they had all this news on politics. All I can say is that it's going to be a very long campaign year that I'm really, really not looking forward to. I'm so disenchanted with the whole system and I don't want to care but I do. I care a lot and I hate that I care so much because aside from casting my vote on election day I feel like there is very little I can do.
I have high hopes for this year.
So since I slept all day I need to do something tonight to make it a more productive start to the new year. Luckily, I don't have to work tomorrow morning so I can stay up a bit later than I normally would want. Thank goodness because there is no way I would be able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. When I woke up CBS was on from the game and they had all this news on politics. All I can say is that it's going to be a very long campaign year that I'm really, really not looking forward to. I'm so disenchanted with the whole system and I don't want to care but I do. I care a lot and I hate that I care so much because aside from casting my vote on election day I feel like there is very little I can do.
I have high hopes for this year.
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