Criminal Psychology

I find criminal psychology fascinating.  It's really bizarre but there are many other there who share my interest.  There's an entire television station dedicated to crimes.  Shows like Criminal Minds, Dexter, and Law and Order Criminal Intent are massive hits.  It's clear that other people have find this of likewise intrigue.  Watching the premier of the show Dark Minds, where they use a serial killer to help find other serial killers (Silence of the Lambs anyone?) and I realized that I understood something before it was revealed.

The show reflects many murders happening in the New England where the killer seems to use stabbing as a signature.  One of the first comments was how it was unusual for the victims to not have the sexual assault.  However, I found myself saying out loud, "well that's what the knife is for."  Of course, not more than ten minutes into the show they feature the convicted serial killer stating that stabbing is the act of penetration itself.  Maybe it was something obvious.  Maybe in my brief description, my far more intuitive friends were able to pick up on that without the obsessive interest in criminal psychology.  For me, I find that I continue to surprise myself by what I know about sexual sadists and other aspects.

My therapist, after realizing that limiting my exposure might not be what I need, suggested a book written by one of the most prolific criminal psychologists out there.  She asked why I was bothered by my intrigue.  I couldn't answer the question.  I still can't answer the question but I feel like it's something I need to work on.  What am I looking for?  Is this something that I just find interesting, the way some people find computers, cars, fashions, or sports interesting?  Perhaps she's right.  Maybe I should stop trying to discourage this interest.  I don't know.   This is a step for me though.  I'm going to stop criticizing myself for finding this interesting because it's not like I don't find it terrifying as well.

This will be something I bring at my next appointment.