For those of you who don't know, I Heart Radio is a new online kind of radio thing and to help promote themselves they got some of the biggest musicians of today together on one stage including one of my absolute favs, Coldplay. In addition to Coldplay, there's also Bruno Mars, Black Eyed Peas, Kelly Clarkson, Jay Z, Lady Gaga, Jane's Addiction, Kenny Chesney, Steven Tyler, Rascal Flatts, David Guetta, Sting, and many others. For fans of current pop music, this seems like one heck of a Las Vegas trip. I love concerts that put many artists on one stage. Sure, you have the local ones that the radio stations throw but I do think part of the allure here was Vegas for me. Really, my wedding or the wedding of a close friend is the only thing that prevented me from doing whatever I could to get there this weekend.
Of course, Coldplay isn't probably going to go on until the end of the night which makes me super sad as they are the ones I really want to see. A couple of years ago Dave and I went to go see them in concert when they came to Boston and they were amazing. I love their music and we had such a great time so I'm excited to see them here. I also have to admit that I'm interested in seeing the Black Eyed Peas play as well. So much of today's pop is such a guilty pleasure for me. I can't help myself. It's just all absolutely absurd and it's impossible to take it seriously at all. Not to mention that it also provides me with fun music to get my groove on.
Is it great music? Not at all but I'm slowly beginning to realize that music is one of those extremely subjective things that people become super elitist about. At this point, it kind of just irritates me when people get all high and mighty about whatever style they happen to consider "good music." There's this implication that if you listen to what's popular today, you've sold out or have zero taste. Since when? There will always be those people who will say, "God, what is it with this music today? It sucks! It was so much better when it was..." This has been going on for generations and it will continue for generations. People my age tend to look at the music of the 80s and 90s as so much better than what's out today but let's be honest, during the 80s and 90s when those songs were hits people were ranting and spouting the same "this music is crap" nonsense preferring the tastes of the 60s and 70s.
And before that people thought the music of the 60s and 70s was terrible. Sadly today, few people even know the songs that were hits when my grandparents were my age. Their music is just as legitimate. Years from now, the music that people my age think are great may be completely unknown the way my grandfather's favorites are now obsolete. The just interviewed the lead singer/songwriter for Coldplay who just basically that he's not into most of the lyrics he writes which is why he keeps writing new stuff which I think is totally awesome. What's also great about music today is that we have access to so --
Okay, I know I didn't finish the sentence above but it was at that moment that Coldplay came on and I jumped off the couch have danced and cried to their set over the past twenty minutes. To me, that's what makes music good. If it causes you to stop whatever it is that your doing for even just a few moments to dance like you did when you were five years old, that's what makes music special. It doesn't matter who causes it; it could be any genre, popular, unknown, something that everyone of your friends hate, if you love it, then that's all that matters. I love Coldplay and I don't care if that causes some people to think I have incredible or horrible taste! I love them! They were just able to do that for me and I didn't even need to be at the concert to feel like I was dancing right next to them.
For so long, I've spent so much time hiding behind other people's interests. I blend in and I take enjoyment from other people enjoying whatever it is. I'm so passive about it. I'm so insecure. That's really what it comes down to: insecurity. When I was living with Katie and Alli I preferred for them to choose our musical soundtrack. There's very little that can't get into. They would ask if I wanted to play some of my music but I never did. Even now I dislike playing my music aloud. I'm afraid of being judged. I want everyone to think that I'm just like them. I want them to think that they "get me." If I put my interests out there for others to see be it in music, books, clothing, art, I'm afraid that they will see a few of the pieces of myself that I've carefully hidden.
Worse, they may think, "My God, I've been friends with her for so long. I never knew... She's so much more different from me than I ever realized. How can she like that? How does she not like this? How did I go this long and not know that about her? Does our friendship mean anything anymore?" I hide behind a mask of being so forthcoming with the intimate details of my life and by blending in with the those around me about things that aren't so intimate. Here's the thing: I was so scared that someone else might see and judge me that I was afraid to express myself with full freedom. However, by spending all these years hiding behind others, by insisting that my interests must correspond with everyone else's I've somehow lost who I am and what I'm actually interested in. I don't know if I'm conveying what I mean but the truth is I don't know what I like anymore.
It wasn't other people I was hiding from; I was hiding from myself. What else have I hidden from myself? I don't want to hide anymore- at least not from me anyway. I'm sorry if this sounds like one of those "No one knows who I truly am" kind of posts. That's not what I'm saying at all actually. I hate it when people say that. It's annoying. If no one knows, it's because of you so stop whining about it. I am exactly who everyone knows me to be. I don't "act" around anyone. I've never been a very good actress on stage or in real life. What you see is what you get with me. It's just that I've allowed what others like to define my own tastes. I've never sought out what I like on my own. It's not to say that I don't like what others like, I totally do but when someone asks what my interests are or what I like and look for specifics, I fall completely short.
I love the band Coldplay and I don't care if anyone hates them. I won't let their opinions affect mine. I'm allowed to like who I want to like. Why did that take me until I was almost 27 to realize that? Before Coldplay came on, I was about to say that the greatest thing about music today is its accessibility. We aren't dependent on the radio to introduce us to artists. There are so many artists out there that for whatever reasons don't get through the machine that chooses what to play on the popular stations. However, we have so many ways to access music. The internet allows us to hear small time local bands that we may never have known about otherwise. I'm going to start finding music I enjoy, create my own playlists. It's time for me to find movies I like, books, artists,and things of that nature. What's "good" is completely subjective and I need to stop worrying about being judged for my interests and I need to be more compassionate about what others enjoy even if I think it's the worst.
Okay, I've seriously written for over an hour at this point and this post really needs to end. My therapist says that we will repeat the things we need to hear so something tells me that I'll be writing more about this topic in the future.
Is it great music? Not at all but I'm slowly beginning to realize that music is one of those extremely subjective things that people become super elitist about. At this point, it kind of just irritates me when people get all high and mighty about whatever style they happen to consider "good music." There's this implication that if you listen to what's popular today, you've sold out or have zero taste. Since when? There will always be those people who will say, "God, what is it with this music today? It sucks! It was so much better when it was..." This has been going on for generations and it will continue for generations. People my age tend to look at the music of the 80s and 90s as so much better than what's out today but let's be honest, during the 80s and 90s when those songs were hits people were ranting and spouting the same "this music is crap" nonsense preferring the tastes of the 60s and 70s.
And before that people thought the music of the 60s and 70s was terrible. Sadly today, few people even know the songs that were hits when my grandparents were my age. Their music is just as legitimate. Years from now, the music that people my age think are great may be completely unknown the way my grandfather's favorites are now obsolete. The just interviewed the lead singer/songwriter for Coldplay who just basically that he's not into most of the lyrics he writes which is why he keeps writing new stuff which I think is totally awesome. What's also great about music today is that we have access to so --
Okay, I know I didn't finish the sentence above but it was at that moment that Coldplay came on and I jumped off the couch have danced and cried to their set over the past twenty minutes. To me, that's what makes music good. If it causes you to stop whatever it is that your doing for even just a few moments to dance like you did when you were five years old, that's what makes music special. It doesn't matter who causes it; it could be any genre, popular, unknown, something that everyone of your friends hate, if you love it, then that's all that matters. I love Coldplay and I don't care if that causes some people to think I have incredible or horrible taste! I love them! They were just able to do that for me and I didn't even need to be at the concert to feel like I was dancing right next to them.
For so long, I've spent so much time hiding behind other people's interests. I blend in and I take enjoyment from other people enjoying whatever it is. I'm so passive about it. I'm so insecure. That's really what it comes down to: insecurity. When I was living with Katie and Alli I preferred for them to choose our musical soundtrack. There's very little that can't get into. They would ask if I wanted to play some of my music but I never did. Even now I dislike playing my music aloud. I'm afraid of being judged. I want everyone to think that I'm just like them. I want them to think that they "get me." If I put my interests out there for others to see be it in music, books, clothing, art, I'm afraid that they will see a few of the pieces of myself that I've carefully hidden.
Worse, they may think, "My God, I've been friends with her for so long. I never knew... She's so much more different from me than I ever realized. How can she like that? How does she not like this? How did I go this long and not know that about her? Does our friendship mean anything anymore?" I hide behind a mask of being so forthcoming with the intimate details of my life and by blending in with the those around me about things that aren't so intimate. Here's the thing: I was so scared that someone else might see and judge me that I was afraid to express myself with full freedom. However, by spending all these years hiding behind others, by insisting that my interests must correspond with everyone else's I've somehow lost who I am and what I'm actually interested in. I don't know if I'm conveying what I mean but the truth is I don't know what I like anymore.
It wasn't other people I was hiding from; I was hiding from myself. What else have I hidden from myself? I don't want to hide anymore- at least not from me anyway. I'm sorry if this sounds like one of those "No one knows who I truly am" kind of posts. That's not what I'm saying at all actually. I hate it when people say that. It's annoying. If no one knows, it's because of you so stop whining about it. I am exactly who everyone knows me to be. I don't "act" around anyone. I've never been a very good actress on stage or in real life. What you see is what you get with me. It's just that I've allowed what others like to define my own tastes. I've never sought out what I like on my own. It's not to say that I don't like what others like, I totally do but when someone asks what my interests are or what I like and look for specifics, I fall completely short.
I love the band Coldplay and I don't care if anyone hates them. I won't let their opinions affect mine. I'm allowed to like who I want to like. Why did that take me until I was almost 27 to realize that? Before Coldplay came on, I was about to say that the greatest thing about music today is its accessibility. We aren't dependent on the radio to introduce us to artists. There are so many artists out there that for whatever reasons don't get through the machine that chooses what to play on the popular stations. However, we have so many ways to access music. The internet allows us to hear small time local bands that we may never have known about otherwise. I'm going to start finding music I enjoy, create my own playlists. It's time for me to find movies I like, books, artists,and things of that nature. What's "good" is completely subjective and I need to stop worrying about being judged for my interests and I need to be more compassionate about what others enjoy even if I think it's the worst.
Okay, I've seriously written for over an hour at this point and this post really needs to end. My therapist says that we will repeat the things we need to hear so something tells me that I'll be writing more about this topic in the future.
I've thought a lot about this over the years, both musical preferences and why people can be so judgmental about them and the idea of hiding pieces of yourself from people that don't agree with them.
ReplyDeleteI think the judgmental-ness comes from people overidentifying with their preferences, honestly, and I totally get that (I do it too!) and find it frustrating at the same time (you are not your favorite band!).
I think everyone does the second thing, to an extent; it's hard to say to someone saying "lord I really hate [insert genre/artist here]!" that you love it (them), because for better or for worse it does feel a bit like a personal attack.
I will leave you with my favorite lyrics from my current favorite song, "Your Ghost" off of Tori Amos' new album Night of Hunters. (I actually thought to apply these to Ian and myself, and that still stands true, but it's also a very universal thought.)
he'll play a Beatles tune
me, more a Bach fugue
is this such a great divide
between your world and mine?
they both can purify
and heal what was cut and bruised
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI3LPyVa1DI