Sometimes I wonder if I'm delusional. Perhaps it's naive. Or maybe it's just sheer hopefulness that I can make myself better by setting goals for myself. Thinking back to Alli's "to-do" lists from college that she would create listing both the assignments she needed to complete and the things she wanted to do. She would attached them to the dresser that was located in front of her bed and cross them off as she completed each task. She would create a new one every week or so. Since she was my roommate, I watched her do this for a couple of weeks before deciding to copy her. Truth is, it worked. Even after moving into a single for the next couple of years I continued it. It proved to be a huge help during my student teaching. Needless to say, I've decided to bring it back.
Using the white board that doubles as my calendar, I created a list of things I both want to do and need to within the next week. Of course, my week will have to go from Wednesday to Wednesday but since that's my weekend normally, that will work. There's a part of me that just feels silly though. I mean, how many times have I done something like this before. Do I really think I'm going to follow through? I hope so but I can't help not feeling confident in myself. In addition, I used the calendar to list my work schedule for the next month with a black dry erase marker. Using a red marker, I plan to notate the times I need to use my FMLA and I use an orange one to cross out the days that have past. I just hope I can stick to it. I've stuck to writing everyday; I can't even explain how I am clinging to that hope.
Also, I want to give a quick shout out to Katie who sent me a text earlier today. I was at work so I couldn't respond the way I wanted to but it made my day. Thank you for thinking of me and know that you are in my thoughts as well. All the time, actually. Thank you again.
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