Sunday, June 17, 2012

Anxious

Dave is tired and grouchy.  Even more so that I've dampened his excitement for an upcoming trip with my anxiety.  I wish I didn't worry so much about things completely beyond my control.  I just don't like being incommunicado for days at a time.  What if the worst happens and no one can get a hold of me? Cell phones and the internet have become staples to my daily life.  Even though people do not call me all day everyday, I take comfort in knowing that if something horrific were to happen, I'd be contacted right away and would know as soon as possible.

Some people long to disconnect.  I like it too; but I also enjoy knowing that people I care about can reach me if needed.  Even in Costa Rica, my family had a way to contact me if something dreadful were to transpire and I needed to come home.  I'll only know during the short time that we go into town.  I hate this anxiety.  I hate worrying constantly.  How did people do this before?   Thank goodness, no one really close to me serves in the military.  I don't think I could handle it.   You know what's worse, I just sat here for a few moments contemplating even posting this because I'm so incredibly paranoid.  WTF?

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