Going away

Okay, so Dave and I will be heading up to New Hampshire for the weekend.  I know my mother will probably saying, "Why are you putting it on the internet?"  Yes, I know that mentioning our leaving could instigate a robbing of our humble apartment but we are leaving it in such disarray that I doubt that anyone who came in who even find things of value.   Hopefully though, people who would rob us don't know where we would live or don't read this so won't know we're going away.

Okay because I haven't heard back from Katie and I know she reads this: I left you a super long and rambling voice mail saying what I've said here so if you already heard it or your not Katie please pass this paragraph. The biggest bummer of this getaway is that I may not be around when little Bean is born but please have someone call me anyway.  Yes, I won't have service while I am there but we are planning to go into town at least once per day so I can check my voice messages and post my nightly post.  And I am desperate to know.  Dave and I am keep joking that as soon as we get there, he will decide he is ready and make his entrance.  There's a part of me that figures that you won't want too many visitors immediately after the baby is born but I will be ready to head over as soon as I get back. If Bean is born before Monday, just have someone call me and let me know that the long awaited time arrived and that everything went okay.  Please, please, please!   Keep me updated.  Love you both and I'm praying for an easy, natural birth where everything goes smoothly and both you and the baby are healthy.

Now that I've let that out.  Seriously, I was stressing so much about not being around for the birth of one of my best friend's baby that Dave actually got discouraged, anxious, and frustrated about going at all that he almost called the whole thing off.  That would have broken his heart and to be honest, I need this time away.  My plan is to read, write, and walk the whole weekend.  I've been so incredibly crazy recently that I need this more than Dave does.  I'm actually really glad that we are going with Johnny.  All of Dave's friends are awesome but Johnny's one of those people that I really am not afraid to be myself around.  I won't feel badly if I wander off, slip under my headphones, and do my own thing.  I'm not afraid of Dave and I getting into a tiff.  Hopefully, I won't have a panicky meltdown but even that I think will be okay.  Being comfortable around Johnny probably has a lot to do with the fact that I basically lived with him for a little over a year.  He's heard Dave and I fight, seen me sick, drunk, isolated.  I didn't have panic attacks back then but so long as Dave is there I know that he'll give us and me the space I need to get my head back together.

So yeah, I am longing forward to it despite the risk that I won't be around if the baby is born or that I will be unreachable.  My mother has the phone number of the place and I will be in town frequently so that will be good.  Even if I have to drive myself into town to keep me sane, that I will do that.  I will see you all in a few days.