Panic

I started week two of the couch to 5K and it did not go well.  It didn't go well at all actually.  During week two, we increase our running from one minute to one and a half minutes then walk for two minutes.  I know it was only thirty seconds but my goodness it makes such a huge difference.  Of course, I pushed myself too hard and I started cramping after 4 runs.  Still I didn't want to stop and I continued to push for the next two runs.  When it came time to "cool down"  I was in a lot of pain, dripping with sweat, and struggling to walk for the 5 minutes.  In the end, I didn't finish.  With two minutes left to my cool down, I stumbled off the treadmill and ran to the bathroom where I struggled with the pain for 20 minutes.

Sadly, that wasn't the worst of it.  As I was doubled over alone in the bathroom I began panicking.  I knew I was panicking and despite my best efforts I couldn't seem to get it to stop.  Still dripping with sweat I felt my hands and feet begin to tingle.  For a few moments the pain would subside and I thought I could get myself together but then another wave would hit and I loose control all over again.  Somehow, looking back, I'm not quite sure how I managed to walk across the street back to the apartment where the panic completely took over me.  It ended badly and I'm going to leave it at that.

In the end, I felt so embarrassed and stupid.  I just started to feel ready to talk with my medication person about lowering the dosage.  I seriously thought I was ready.  Now what?  Also, I never want to run again.  Totally bumming out right now.