Writing my post super early today. I slept a lot today-- more than normal. Luckily, I managed to get through most of my hours without any nightmares and after a second nap, I've awoken feeling rested for the first time in days. I also don't feel too down about anything right now which is also a nice feeling. It's been a rough couple of weeks. Man, I'm hungry. Dave has gone to go get Five Guys. Sadly, our diet and exercise plan has halted a bit. I just don't have the motivation which sort of depresses me but I I'm not allowing it to get to me for now. It doesn't get me anywhere.
I'm very hopeful that this whole depression thing will subside soon. I'm so done with it. Here's the thing I have these tiny spurts of motivation but I'm really beginning to fear being manic depressive. It's not the worst thing in the world and I have not been diagnosed with it at all but it's become a consuming thought similar to when I feared that I was a narcissist. So yes at the moment my fear is that when I get these spurts of motivation, I'm quick to stop it. I don't want a manic episode where I do a lot and then crash. So as a result, I've almost been finding comfort in the depression which is strange. I hate being crazy, it's really obnoxious. Do I really think I'm manic depressive? Not really but it's something that scares me. Hopefully it will pass. I mean, these mood swings have been just a recent thing.
Alright. Dave is here with my much needed food.
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