I am really irritated with Dave right now to the point where I literally kicked him out of the room. I actually said to him, "Please go away, I don't want to deal with you right now." It's been a really long time since I've been this upset with him and I'm not going to go into specifics but it's quarter to one in the morning and I have to write and this is how I'm feeling so he will have to deal with the fact that I'm documenting my unhappiness with him. He didn't consider my feelings at all this evening so whatever. Yes, it isn't necessary for me to disregard his feelings just because he disregarded mine earlier. Yes, it is a tad bit immature but I don't care. By tomorrow morning I'll be over it because it wasn't anything major. It just really upsetting to me and it came down to me just continuing to bitch him out or have him go away and wait for me to calm down. Bitching at him wasn't going to make me feel any better.
There is progress there, I suppose. I used to be the type that would just yell and yell and yell. For hours. Many times, I would just talk in circles long after the other person says they're sorry and that they mean it. It's useless. The cliche "beating a dead horse" comes to mind. Of course, "beating" any animal alive or dead bothers me but that was what I would metaphorically be doing in my arguments. So though, telling him "Go Away" wasn't the nicest thing in the world. I just saved both of us from an endless tirade on my part. Like I said, it wasn't even that big of a deal. It was just something that's been an issue for us in the past--in fact, a big issue when we first started dating. He knows it bothers me and he just "didn't feel like dealing with it." That alone makes me angry. Well, great. Now you have to deal with me and I certainly know I'm far more unpleasant than what you would have had to deal with earlier.
All the more reason I'm not ready to be a parent. I feel like that's the adolescent way of living. They don't deal with something that might be mildly unpleasant at the moment so end up having to sit through their parents yelling at them later or far more dire and serious consequences later. I've been there. We've all been there so no, I can't be too angry with him for taking that route tonight but still it is quite annoying. I have the right to be annoyed, don't I? Now that I've gone and written this I feel bad that I'm going to end up posting it. He just came back in and apologized again. Funny how just a bit of space can change everything. I got up and gave him a hug and don't really feel mad anymore.
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