Okay, so I totally lost my crap last night. I really just wanted to break things but I didn't I just raged here on my little journal, yelled and stomped around for a few minutes, then finally sobbed for a few more. What made everything even worse was the Dave had just as bad of a day/evening. We went to bed super early both exhausted emotionally. It was quite an evening and I can't even begin to tell you how glad we both are that it's over.
I haven't had a day like yesterday in a really long time. From the moment I woke up, throughout the entire seven hours of work, and then coming home I was just so angry and upset and just not having anything. I think a large part of that was the nightmare. Honestly, it was the worst one yet. I only existed in Dave's mind. I was just a figment of Dave's imagination and as he forgot about me, I felt myself slowly disappearing from the world. I kept jumping around and trying to get his attention back but he wouldn't see me. I wasn't real and he was moving on with his life. Just before I completely disappeared, I woke up. It was awful.
Luckily my dreams of last night were nowhere near that bad and I woke up feeling like a new person. Thank you to those of you who contacted me. I'm sorry if I made any of you worry unnecessarily. You guys are the best.
Glad you both are doing better. Does your therapist have any suggestions to help with the nightmares? Apparently one treatment is Imagery Rehearsal Therapy (IRT). In IRT, the person who is having nightmares, while awake, changes how the nightmare ends so that it no longer upsets them. Then the person replays over and over in their minds the new dream with the non-scary ending. Of course I guess that only works if you have the same nightmare frequently.
ReplyDeleteYou may have already discussed this with her but I hope she can help you. Those nightmares really suck :( But always remember, they are NOT real! You are safe and loved by an incredible husband who adores you. And a family that feels the same way. Hope you get rest. Love to you and Dave!