Facebook

Okay, this is going to be a super fast post.  My bed is practically screaming for me.  It's nice to feel so wanted by an inanimate object but I'm struggling with my desire and my goals.  Funny how those two things can conflict at times even when what you desire long term is your goal.  I don't know if I'm making any sense but so be it.  It's words on a screen and I'm typing them; therefore, I am happy and satisfied.  I must say though, I miss my daily internet reads and pinterest pinning and all those casual waste of time things I used to do.  

You know what I don't miss?  Facebook.  I don't miss it at all.  Not even a little bit.  I've logged in for all of twenty minutes or so in the past week and it feels great.  It's hard to explain but as much as I love seeing how people are doing and looking at their pictures, keeping tabs on people was never really something I enjoyed doing.  I live my life and they are living theirs and that's okay.  Plus, I'll be honest.  I always end up at people's pages who just don't make me feel good about myself.   I somehow find myself on someone's page wishing I was as successful or as pretty or feeling like I want be a part of something I'm not.

It's just not healthy.  Facebook has numerous, numerous benefits and I'm very happy it exists but I definitely feel like for me, it's something I need to peruse and post in moderation.  I'd definitely be interested in taking some type of course or doing some type of study on the psychological implications Facebook has on one's concept of self.  Our parents didn't grow up keeping track of their high school and college peers lives that no longer intersect with theirs.  Sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing.  Maybe it's just because I have a hard time letting go of certain things in general and Facebook is sometimes a terrible reminder of things that I should have gotten over a long, long time ago.

I was talking to one of my coworkers today about it and she's not that much younger than me but she loves it.  She didn't understand why I was so content to avoid it.  Of course, I didn't get into of the things I just mentioned so maybe she'd get that.  Or maybe it's just me.  I've come to the unsettling realization that sometimes I'm the only one with weird negative thoughts and I'm okay with that.  It doesn't matter if I'm the only one with them or not.  What matters is that it's my reality and if I feel better not being on Facebook everyday then I will continue to entertain it in some doses.