Bleak

This post is going to be brief because I'm feeling tired and somewhat depressed.  I'm not sure why I'm feeling depressed but I am and therefore, I really don't want to write for very long.  No one wants to read the posts that are all "woe is me."  At the moment, I'm feeling that way and I don't feel like I have any reason to complain because this was my choice.  It was my choice to take on these two jobs and it was my choice to trade this weekend for next so I can't be all depressed about it.

Maybe this is too much.  Working thirteen days straight, getting two days off only to do it all over again with just one day off.  I was hoping this weekend  would leave my feeling rejuvenated and ready to take on the next sprint but I'm not.  I have zero desire to work a double tomorrow and Tuesday.  I have zero desire to work on Thanksgiving and Black Friday.  I have zero desire to work next Saturday and next Sunday and then have to do a regular week with no break.  These two days weren't enough.

There's a large part of me that wants to just quit.  Then I remember all the purchases that Dave and I want to make and I think of the loans and how far behind the eight ball we are.  I can't quit.  Not to mention that it would leave people completely stranded and I've already done three weeks.  On the one hand, hearing that I wouldn't be hired for the long term was a good thing.  I only have to do this for several more weeks.  But on the other hand, there's a part of me that's thinking, "why bother?"  It's not like it's going to pan out and I'll be able to work a normal schedule and cut back at my regular job.

I feel like I've made a big mistake taking both of these jobs on but what can I do?  I've already committed.   I just have to suck it up and deal.  I'll get through it.