"Just let it go"

One of my father's favorite things to say whenever we had some type of problem that we just couldn't fix was "Let it go."  He said it so casually, as if the giant crisis of the moment was something you were holding onto because you needed it.  It was almost never anything so simple as letting go of the heavy weight pulling at you as you're swimming, trying to stay afloat, or in rare and dreadful cases drowning.  Many of life's curve balls or even simple issues couldn't be easily resolved just by releasing your grasp, allowing it to sink to the unknown depths, and freely swimming back up to the surface as if it was never there at all.

It wasn't just that he made it sound easy.  There were times he made it look easy as well.   He's been through his share of hardship and has definitely had potential problems looming over his head like a dark cloud just waiting to rain.  He's just never let it affect him.  He takes the short time he needs on his own, does whatever he needs to express his feelings, and then he just lets it go.  All without us ever seeing anything.  I can't help but admire that in him and wish that he passed whatever genetics contribute to that down to me.  It's not an exaggeration when I say, I've never seen my father cry; there's was that one time I heard it in his voice when his father (my grandfather) died and he woke up me up to tell me.  Even then though, I never saw it.  My mother who's been with him for over thirty years can count on one hand how many times she's seen him cry.  Rarely does he find the time to worry about anything either.  Always saying, "I'll worry about that when it happens."

I long for that ability.  To not worry about things until they actually happen and if/when they do, I long to be able to have my moment and then move on.  I inherited the anxiety from my mom's side as did my sister.  Thinking about it, I commend him for living with three women who did take things so seriously, so personally.  It wasn't easy for us, but it couldn't have been much easier for him.  Growing up, I always thought "he just doesn't get it."  Maybe, though, it's me who doesn't get it.   Perhaps there is some secret formula that allows one to only deal with things when they happen and then to do it efficiently, drawing as little attention to yourself as possible.  My fiance has a similar ability.  Rarely have I ever seen him stress about something for more than a day.  I've always admired that in my dad so it's really no surprise that I consider it one of my fiance's best abilities.  Perhaps if I surround myself with people like that it will eventually rub off on me as well.

Oh and for anyone who tries to say that it's "a women thing vs a guy thing-" I personally don't buy that.  I've seen my fair share of guys who can't get over things and linger in their personal tragedy in a similar way that I've seen women handle heavy worries and hardship as if they're just another pothole to maneuver around.   Could it really be something that can be resolved with some cognitive behavior therapy?  Is it just that those who appear impervious really automatically think whatever happened or couple happen more productively?  I really hope so.  If so, maybe I actually can learn how to do it myself.   It would certainly help me get out of my own way, right?