Titles are hard for me

Therapy wasn't as cathartic as I hoped today but I think there's just a lot for me to weigh and process that it can't all happen in one 45 minute session.  There's too much that's happening right now in my life that it's going to take longer than I want.   She gave me a copy of a document called, "The Trauma Information Group Manual" written by colleagues of hers who work at The Victims of Violence Program in Cambridge.  They ask to not be quoted without the authors' permission so I won't but I wish I could because there is so much useful information within the document.  

We discussed a lot of things that I don't quite feel comfortable going into right now.  It's late and I just don't want to rehash those feelings at the moment.  I want to sit and veg out before going to bed.  I'm so lucky because I actually have tomorrow night off but that doesn't mean I won't be busy.  My plan is to do the Christmas shopping that is still very much needed.  I haven't done any of it.  Katie and Jared's Christmas party is this Saturday and I am woefully unprepared.  I don't have a second gift for the Yankee Swap and have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do.  I know it shouldn't be stressing me out but then my nerves are all frayed and honestly, what isn't getting me all anxious.  It's really irritating that my emotions feel so out of control.... again.  

Really, what the hell? Christmas is next weekend.  Seriously, when did that happen?  I need more time.  November felt like it was never going to end but now here's Christmas.  I need to stop being so selfish and start thinking about others.  I've been selfish long enough.