Thank you

Thank you to those of you who reached out to me today.  I didn't mean to worry you with my post from last night.  Sometimes I forget that other people read what I write and posts like last night's can be difficult for those who love me and don't get the chance to see me on a daily basis.  I'm apologize if I made any of you worry unnecessarily.   I think it's sometimes more difficult to bear witness to someone else's pain than it is to bear it yourself.  When you live it, you don't have a choice yet at the same time you have more control over it than those around you.  You just do it.  It's those around you who want to help and fix it.

I know that you may feel helpless throughout this whole process but you don't know how much help you have already given me.  You read this silly blog on a daily basis.  When you read something that touches you or worries you, you tell me about it and just knowing that you are there for me makes all the difference.  I don't know if what I'm writing is making any sense but please know that I love you all and being loved by you in return is more than I could even begin to ask for.  I'm so incredibly lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.  If I had to deal with one giant scumbag to be able to appreciate it the way I do then I'd deal with him all over again if I had to.

Today was a much better day.  Writing that post proved to be very therapeutic.  I actually wrote it by hand first before typing it up later in the evening.  Once I finished writing I felt as if much of the weight was lifted off my shoulders.  Dave and I worked together to get some of the laundry done, do the dishes, and prepare the pasta salad for my the Secret Santa party at work tonight.  He doesn't want me to do it all myself.  He wants to help; he wants us to do it together.  That is something I can get behind.  Today was one of the first days that I didn't feel like I was in such a fog.  It's not gone but I feel like I'm not hindered the same way by it.

Anyway, thank you so much for all your love and support.  I love you more than you know.