Reasons and Goals

So last night I promised that I'd post a listing of either my exact reasoning for wanting to lose weight or my smaller, more clearly defined objectives for this week.   Earlier today, I had another really good conversation with Katie over the phone and we were able to discuss some of what I was going through.  She recommended Spark People to help me define my more immediate goals and I just visited the site and she's right.  It seems like a pretty decent site to run tandem with Weight Watchers though I think I'll still use Weight Watchers tracking system for the food just because I'm structuring my diet through the points program but for the exercise, tips, and goals Spark People seems more than sufficient and motivating.  Now with that said, one to my promises.

Reasons for Getting into Shape (in no particular order)

• I want my energy back;  I feel the extra pounds and the lethargy that came with them
• My lifestyle is not healthy: I eat too much processed or take out food and don't get enough movement in my daily routine
• When I have chosen the more healthy way... everything improves.  I feel better, I sleep better, I'm less anxious, my confidence increases, and I'm more inclined to step out of my comfort zone and take a chance that I otherwise might not have.  
• Honestly, there was a time when it wasn't "exercising" or "working out" it was something I used to do for fun or as a way of self-expression;  I'd like to find that again
• I want to fit into my clothing again and also not allow my weight to be the reason I don't purchase more (needed) pieces. 
• Vanity is something I can fully deny; I do want to feel confident in a bathing suit or lingerie again especially with my honeymoon on Maui coming up.  
• Again, like with writing everyday... I want to feel confident that when I set a goal that I'm capable of sticking with it until completion
• I don't want future fitness goals to seem completely unattainable.  There is still that desire, developed my sophomore year of college, to complete a mini triathlon. 
• More than anything, I want to reconnect with my body again and prove that it's capable of a lot more than it believes.  It's not easier to give up anymore... it hurts rather than helps now. 
• Eating better and getting into shape works will assist my other more psychological goals... it will help to keep me centered and also allow my to process some of the more painful parts of my past.
• Making these changes now will be the beginning of better habits.  Let's be honest, if Dave and I continue on our path we will be worrying about a lot more than 20 or 30 pounds and my have additional health complications.  The sooner these changes are made, the easier they will be to incorporate as we grow and maybe one day expand our family.  

Those are the primarily reasons.  I'm almost positive that I forgot a couple but I'm sure they will come up later.  Also, I get that not all of them are the best reasons for wanting to get in shape.  I really shouldn't be reluctant to buy clothes because of my size and getting into shape to look good on the beaches of Maui are not going to stay with me long term.  It's just that I feel slightly dishonest if I omit the vain reasons and just try and stick with the ones that will last.  Oddly enough, it can be something as vain as "I want to fit into that dress or that bikini" that initially keeps one motivated enough to continue until the habits are more ingrained.  Of course, I won't wake up tomorrow feeling like I've reached some of those reasons or goals from above without doing the work now.   As Katie said, it's great that I want to get in shape, get healthier, and lose 20 pounds but you need to have a plan that is attainable in the short term.  

So, the short term goals for the upcoming week...

• Continue to monitor and track the point values of what I am eating on the Weight Watchers website.
• Drink eight glasses of water a day
• Fit in 15-20 minutes of activity a day
• Collect some pictures that I find motivating and create a desktop background with them
• Maybe purchase the Wii fit (though that will depend more on how I'm doing with this week's budget)
• Research healthy meal recipes (find 3- so I can choose one to possibly try next week)

As always, I will try to keep you periodically informed about my progress and as writing is a cathartic experience, you will almost definitely read about my setbacks.  I just need to remind myself that setbacks will happen and not to allow them to knock me off my game.  Wish me luck.