You know how they say that at some point every bride has that moment where they go, "aaaaah! What am I thinking? Is one day worth so much money? Maybe we should just forgo the whole thing and get married at City Hall!!! aaaaah!". Yeah, tonight turned into that kind of night. Dave and I went for a taste testing at our venue; well, we tried to anyway. Since it was at 6pm, Dave left work early to make sure we got there on time. However, it took him over an hour to get home and we didn't leave our apartment until 5:35pm. That wouldn't have been so bad had it not taken an additional hour and twenty minutes to get to our venue. By the time we finally got there we found ourselves frustrated, frazzled, and having missed the tasting of the hors d'oeuvre and the first course. We did get a chance to try the second and third course and both of those tasted great but it would've really been nice to try it all especially since this is apparently the only one they are going to have all year? Yeah, we think that's dumb too.
Anyway the super long drive got me thinking about the rehearsal dinner and how none of our bridal party live close. We're hoping that we may be able to schedule it for the Saturday morning before our wedding because then we can all just spend the day together and get married the next day. However, I'm worried that we won't be able to do it then and be forced to do it on a Thursday or something. Considering the traffic, most of our bridal party would have to take the day off of work which is an idea that I completely abhor. Part of the reason we chose to stay local than the destination event that we originally wanted was for convenience purposes. By staying close, our bridal party and guests wouldn't have to drive for hours and miss work unless of course if they run into the kind of traffic that we ran into tonight. Obviously not as convenient as we thought. Then before we left, we asked how we would go about getting a room for the night before so that it would be easy to get ready the morning of and found out that we actually can't. It is their policy for all their Saturday night weddings, whomever is getting must book all the rooms in the inn and therefore no rooms are available for us the night before. Now, that shouldn't be too bad as most places normally have a place for the bride and groom to get ready; however, we somehow got one of those few places without one.
During the ride home, I found myself extremely cranky and morose. I began to wonder why I didn't just follow through with my destination event. That way, everyone would be there. We'd make a full weekend out of it with lots of activities and though people may have to take a day off of work, it would be for more than a rehearsal dinner. It would be the beginning of a fun festive wedding weekend with friends. Not to mention that I'd at least have a place to change into my wedding dress. I was frustrated that we completely threw away the idea after realizing that the only two places were too expensive. Exactly why didn't we keep looking in different towns, I still don't know. We might have been able to find a better deal and gotten everything we wanted without feeling like we had to compromise. A huge part of me wanted to keep looking and start over but we've already invest $2,000 into the place and suddenly I felt trapped. Feeling psychologically trapped never bodes well for me and this time was no surprise. I ended up calling my mom and ranting for far too long and my mother is too good to me to listen to all of it. She tried to make me feel better but I was too far gone and just couldn't get past the irritation of it all. Then of course I felt terrible for ruining her Friday night with my ranting.
Hanging up the phone I flopped on the couch and moped for a bit before Dave began getting annoyed and we began talking about why all of this craziness was necessary. Maybe we should just scrap the whole thing and do some cheap and simple. Our budget is continuing to grow larger and larger and everywhere we turn there seems to be more money that we are going to have to spend. The next thing I knew I was looking at another venue and found myself actually contemplating changing. I even called my mother again to tell her about the better deal I found if we moved the date to a Friday and only had fifty people. After getting off the phone with her again, Dave sat me down and we had a long talk. He asked if I was just changing for changing's sake. He wasn't against doing it at all but thought that if we decided to, we should go for what we originally wanted and not just more of the same somewhere else. Now after I have had some time to reflect a bit more, I think that maybe he's right. Maybe I'm just freaking out and now trying to run away. I do tend to have a bit of that tendency. Perhaps there is a way to still make everything work. Yes, the new place I found would save us money but it would require us to cut our guest list again almost by half. Is that really what we want to do?
I think I hoped I would be special and I would go through the whole wedding process calm, cool, and collected. I convinced myself that I wasn't like other brides and that silly things like changing rooms were something to get upset about. Sadly though, I learned tonight that I'm just as susceptible as anyone. Honestly, though... it's a lot of money to spend on a single day and there are a lot of expectations etched into us from a very early age that I get it. Maybe it's more concerning if someone can drop thousands of dollars on a one day party without batting an eyelash or questioning their decision. This isn't a car that you will more than likely own for a couple of years and will provide you with a freedom to move around locally. It's not a down payment on a house that would be considered a solid investment over multiple years. It's not even a great vacation to some far off world that will provide you with insight to another place and culture. No, it's a big party that you throw for yourself and your husband. The biggest party that you will ever throw yourself until you're funeral and that you don't get to plan yourself or enjoy. It's a big deal but it's still only one day. You could just as easily go to your local city hall and leave as a wife or husband but most of us don't because we know that this is the one day it's socially acceptable to throw boatloads of money on a giant party for yourselves and so you do. There are just those days when the money and the whole "what do you get for the money" concerns arise and sometimes cause a mini-meltdown.
Hopefully this one will my one and only.
No comments:
Post a Comment