The world in my head is sometimes so much better than reality. Sometimes I am surprised by my own age because I have the imagination and the fantasy world of a twelve year old. There are no limits in the world of fantasy. I can be anything I dream of, even have supernatural powers if I chose. It's too bad I can live in that world. There are times though that I wonder if I could actually be capable of the things I imagine (the more realistic ideals). They aren't all that far-fetched but they seem that way sometimes.
Dave and I were discussing a couple of them and he asked a valid question. "Do you think these fantasies and dreams hold you back?" At the time I said I didn't think so but I'm honestly not so sure. There is the chance that I could be living too much in my head and that it's preventing me from actually going after what I wanted in reality. He asked if I thought I should bring this up to my therapist and get her thoughts. At the time I was reluctant but now, I'm not so sure. She did help me figure out my "superhero" fantasies. It also can't be denied that much of what I'm dreaming about is career related and I am currently dealing with some of what's holding me back there. Maybe there's some significance.
I don't know. I'd go into more detail to explain myself better but I'm not quite ready to reveal these thoughts. They are too personal, too ambitious, and too impractical. Everyone has certain pieces of themselves that they aren't willing to share with others. Normally, I've prided myself on being an open book. I didn't have secrets and I wasn't afraid to talk about anything. Truth of the matter is, everyone has at least one or two things they wish to remain secret: dreams, pieces of their pasts, etc. It's not about people trying to hide their true selves like I used to think. It's so much more than that and it's something I think I finally understand.
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