Today Dave and I went to visit my parents and just before leaving, the topic of the wedding registry came up.  Why do I have such a hard time asking for gifts?  Yes, we both know that it's tacky to ask for cash but is it bad that it's really what we want.  Our first goal after getting married is to pay down of debt and small trinkets or a nice dinner on our honeymoon aren't really all that necessary.  Truth is, although Dave and I could use some new pots and pans, knives, bedding, and things of that nature that's only a couple of things.  A couple of really expensive things that I feel just as bad asking of as asking for cash.

Then there's a honeymoon registry but we're already going to Maui.  We've got the flights, the places to stay, and the rent a car, really what more do we need?  Maui already offers just about everything we are looking for: the beaches, the road to Hana, the volcanoes, and all sorts of inexpensive activities we can do to enjoy ourselves.  Sure again, there are maybe one or two things we could ask for such as the sunrise hike down the Haleakala volcano and perhaps an evening luau but there's really not much more that we are looking to do.

We are definitely going to do those things on our honeymoon and make those purchases anyway and yes it will save us that money that we can later put toward debt; I'd still just rather have the cash though.  Right now, if I were to spend any large sum of money on anything not wedding related, I purchase a new couch and book those two events for our honeymoon.  The bedding, the pots and pans, knives, etc, all of that can wait until I feel ready to afford it.  I wouldn't actually buy any of that stuff now because I can't afford it so therefore, when others buy it for us, it's not like we can actually take the money that we were definitely going to use for those items and put it toward the debt.  As of right now, I don't have $129 to spend on a duvet cover so if someone buys that for me, it's not like I can put $129 of my money that I would've spent into the getting out of debt fund.

It all just seems so silly.   There's a part of me that wants to tell my guests to wait until Dave and I buy a home together.  We don't need wedding gifts, but owning a home is a big deal.   Instead of buying us something for the wedding, you could put that money toward helping us pay for a solar panel roof or a new water heater for when the one in our 50 year old will break and we'll need to buy a new one.   In the end, there are certain things I don't mind using my money on.  I don't mind paying for a bike ride down a volcano; to me that's money well spent for the experience alone.  It's the other stuff like new clothes or home decor that I don't actually buy.  I can put off buying those kinds of things forever.  Paying for an experience is one thing; buying something that you may use once and never again is another.  If that happens, you've wasted money on just one more item taking up space.

Weird, somehow in a sort of twisted way, I think I just talked myself out of a honeymoon registry and into a home registry.   Dave and I will actually have to sit down and discuss it.  Go through out current apartment, our potential apartments and determine exactly what we need and want that maybe we would otherwise never actually spend money on.  Sure, I'd never buy a cute turtle shower curtain with my own money no matter how much I liked the idea (that, in my mind, is somehow a waste of money) so maybe that is the perfect gift to ask Aunt Sally to purchase for me.  Maybe I need to look at it that way.  What do I want that I would never actually be able to justify spending my money on?  I suppose that is what a gift is all about....