While catching up on my blog reading, I came upon this article that really sat with me. So much so that I've decided to write about post about. Why is it so difficult for many of us to actually put in the work to become successful? We are so quick to make excuses and get angry at others for our inability to get what we want. Sadly, I know a lot of people who are very much like this. Pure, raw, natural talent but something about themselves gets in the way. This happened with me in a very similar way when it came to my teaching.
For years, I insisted that I wanted to be a teacher. I'd go to the fairs, speak with some principals and human resource personnel for different school districts in the state, and submit my resume. For me that was "trying." In reality though, I didn't really make a strong effort to find a job. I didn't complete the applications, the few applications I did complete I didn't submit, and therefore never got called in to be interviewed. Had I done the first two steps and I got a call to be interviewed I probably would have chickened out and made up some excuse to not go.
Like Paul, I didn't accept the responsibility for the lack of job prospects. Sure the economy was tough and many of my friends I graduated with in the same field were having trouble finding job opportunities. Unlike other states in this country, Massachusetts doesn't have a shortage of teachers. In fact, during the time that I was "trying" many school districts were in the process of laying off teachers and really weren't looking to hire too many. Of course, this was my excuse for not getting a job. It wasn't because I wasn't actually applying for the job, there just weren't the jobs to go for. Again, like Paul, I ended up contemplating going back to school to get a Master Degree in the field even going to an open house at Lesley University.
Maybe two months later, I finally faced the relatively simple reality. I could either make a very valid attempt or accept the idea that maybe I didn't want to teach as badly as I originally thought. I began asking myself why I wasn't going for the jobs. The answers to these questions were illuminating. One, I felt that I didn't have the confidence or the skills to be competitive in the field. I mean, I would be going up against fellow students who didn't fail their first student teaching experience. Yes, it wasn't entirely my fault but I was I supposed to explain that? In addition, I came to the realization that I wasn't so sure I even wanted the job. The first few years of teaching are extremely stressful and I had a lot to prove with a lot at stake. You can't fail your first year of teaching; if you do, you are not supplying your students with the necessary skills. In the end, I just realized that I didn't have the confidence in myself to give my students what they deserve from a teacher.
In many way, I was one of the lucky ones who had this epiphany for before spending thousands of dollars in getting a Master's degree. A Master's degree still wouldn't give me what I was lacking which was the confidence. I'd just have been much further in debt and still been too afraid to go for the actual paycheck. For many of my friends, I find that fear or perfectionism is what gets in all of our way. Like I said at the beginning of this post, I have some amazingly talented friends who just haven't found their confidence or their story. It's frustrating sometimes because I know that they could be hugely successful but who am I to judge seeing as I've got the exact same issue. Deep down, I feel like I'd be a great teacher but it's just too much for me right now. Right now, I'm looking into different career alternatives. As for my friends, I still am fully confident that they will succeed in their passions and I will continue to encourage and support them until they do.
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