A Post!

For the first time this year, Blogger is undergoing maintenance at the same time I want to write my post.  It’s not all that upsetting as well, websites are known to do that from time to time.  Perhaps this is because Dave and I took down our wedding website due to the fact that everyone got their Save the Dates a full day earlier than expected.  Thank you Katie for the text or everyone would have been directed to the “Zoom, zoom bride and groom” poem that Alli wrote for us.  Not that it’s a bad poem because it makes me giggle every time I read it; however, I doubt many of my relatives will find it as fun when they are coming to read about Dave and me. 

Also, I’d like to apologize again to Jamie for well, cutting our evening short.  I really would have loved to go to the mall or shopping wherever but my procrastination got the best of me.  Sorry about that.  On the plus side, Dave doesn’t seem all that upset with me anymore.  When I called him to take it down, he got a bit bent out of shape. He’s worked incredibly hard on it the past few weeks and I think he was really excited to showcase it.  But as wonderful as what he’s done with Alli’s base design, it is still missing a lot of content and that’s an important piece. 

I will admit, when I got home we didn’t get too much done as far as writing the content goes.  What we did do was spend the much needed time discussing our or rather my personal worries and anticipations.  In many ways, I’m glad we got to focus on that as it will make the writing aspect so much easier without those weighing on me.  So what exactly am I worried about, you wonder?  Or maybe you don’t wonder as most of you know that I have commitment issues.  I haven’t got a clue where they came from as my parental role models have been married for 30+ years now and had dated for 8 or 9 prior to marrying.  No commitment issues there.

I guess a large part of it has to do with the simple knowledge that an extremely high percentage of marriages fail.  Most people going to married life are overjoyed and full of hope.  They never go into it thinking, “man, I’m going to hate him in five years.”   Not that I’m saying that I’m going to hate Dave in five years but again, no one would get married if they truly believed that.  How does a couple go from being so happy together that they can stand before their friends and family and shell out thousands of dollars to declare the love and promise their devotion to each other to needing lawyers to help them divide everything up during their divorce proceedings?  Really, how does that happen and how do I know that won’t happen with us. 

Sadly, Dave couldn’t provide anything but a truly honest answer, “we don’t know.   Nothing is certain and anything is possible but I feel like people resort to divorce too easily today.”  I can’t disagree with him.  I feel like marriage today is like “go steady” was all those years ago.  People aren’t really promising their love until death does them part but rather until it gets too difficult, complicated, and inconvenient or until someone better comes around.  Of course, there are certain situations when a divorce is absolutely necessary for the wellbeing of one or both individuals and every person has different threshold of tolerance but somehow I doubt that this is the reason the divorce rate sky-rocketed. 

I know it seems weird to be thinking already about divorce but how can one not when they are only a few months away from marrying?  How does one not think about the fact that they are jumping into their own boat on a river filled with countless others knowing that at least half of them won’t make it downstream?  It’s scary.  I can’t imagine my life without Dave, nor do I want to but it doesn’t change the statistics.  What do we have that all those other newly married couples don’t?  I get that “what ifs” thoughts like these as considered “castrophizing” by many psychologists and is generally frowned upon in situations like this.  There’s really nothing we can do to guarantee our success because life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs from all angles.  All we can do is promise each other that we are going to commit to working at it and doing everything we can to salvage our small boat to prevent it from sinking when the waters get rough and visibility becomes poor. 

It’s little consolation but somehow far more comforting than, “Don’t worry about it cutie.  We’re not like other couples; we won’t fail.  We love each other too much.”  Sure it may sound good but we both know that sounds more like a denial of the possibility than anything else.  Maybe another woman would find those words more consoling but not this one.  Luckily for me, I have a man who also thinks the same way I do and would never move forward blindly without serious thought to the potential emotional waves that may attempt to tip or sink us.