Always having a title is overrated

I'm having a moment (a rather underwhelming moment, but a moment all the same).  Dave and I watched a Frontline episode on how the internet has influenced the lives of middle school and high school students.  It was interesting and there are a lot of aspects and topics presented that I would like to address with my own personal opinions but feel like it's become far too late and I'm too tired to actually do so.  Apparently, I consider this completely common occurrence a "moment."  Where do I get these words?  I suppose that's what happens when your finger type the random thoughts of your brain without actually evaluating them.  Maybe, once this year is over I'll tab the entries where I do this so I can write a more articulate, well thought out post later.  Something tells me I've said this already on this blog but overall redundancy is bound to when one insists on writing daily.  

This morning I met with the wise woman again and marvel at the fact that for the first time since I started seeing her I felt somewhat normal again.  I kept telling her that I felt like I was wasting a session because I should be delving deep and cleaning my soul of anguish.  Okay I really didn't say it quite that dramatically but it was in a similar vain.  What surprised me was how many personal insights I had just by discussing how life felt normal again.  She picked up on my positive thought patterns of the week and emphasized them.  It was illuminating without there having to be any tears.  A pleasant surprise really; a "nice reprieve" as she called it.  Also, I found out today that she actually has two little boys.  How did it go over a year without my ever learning that?  It seems so entirely selfish.  I go in and whine and complain about my compulsive negative thoughts and I don't have the slightly inkling that she has two children?  When I mentioned this to her, she explained that it was one of the reasons therapy is so effective.  If I knew about her life as intimately as she knows about mine, some of that objectivity would be lost.  

It's strange because there's that part of me who would like to consider my relationship with her to be a "friendship" but it's really nothing of the sort.  Friendship implies a mutual sharing between two people and that doesn't exist in our relationship.  In so many ways, it's really a far more personal doctor/patient relationship.  There's a part of me that's always known this but something about learning about her children today just made it so much more real or perhaps undeniable.  In a way, I'm okay with that.  Like she said, that is why it works so well and why it's considered to be a breach of ethics to psychoanalyze your friends if you get the degree. Still there's a part of me that doesn't like it; as if I fully accept this relationship for what it is, I'm willing participating in an entirely selfish action.  Sure, I have a lot of selfish actions but I don't think I've been so conscious of it and not want to change it before. It's times like this when I need to remember that it is for this precise reason that before every session I write her a check.