Difficult days

Today was a tough day and I'm not too sure how much I want to discuss it.  It culminated in a massive sinus headache that caused me to throw up multiple times.  Needless to say, I had to call in to work which I really hate doing.  Even though I'm not the biggest fan of my job, I take my work seriously and I hate anytime I can't make it in.  It reflects badly on me as an employee and that bothers me.  Sure, even when I have the most legitimate excuse, I can't escape the guilt of not being able to make it in.  What made it worse today was that we were already short staffed because Leah's son had to have surgery to get his adenoids out.  Part of me wishes I had mine out because then maybe I wouldn't get such vicious sinus headaches, something that's plague me for as long as I can remember.  

I don't know exactly what time my post from last night got posted today.  I really did write before I went to bed but blogger was in maintenance so I couldn't post it.  Even this morning, it was still down.  I got a couple of text messages with lovely friends wondering if I'm okay and I just want to let you know that I am.  Sorry if I worried anyone.  Since calling in, I've slept a bit and my headache was able to subside and I was able to get down a little bit of food though I'm still feeling super exhausted mentally and physically.  My body feels weighted down and I feel myself longing for another massage.  I have one next Thursday, so I just need to make it until then.

I've been reading this book my mother's coworker loaned to me called, Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss.  She's a medical intuitive who can read the energy of people who have come down with a physical or mental illnesses and determine what in their life might have got them there.  According to her, our spirit remembers every positive and negative thought or actions and is influenced by it.  Over time, if there are too many negative influences it can quite literally manifest on the physical body.  Honestly, I don't exactly know how much of that I buy but she mentioned that if one is sleeping for extended periods of time, something is depleting your spiritual energy.  I definitely believe that and when I mentioned this to my therapist, she actually asked if I had every heard about Reiki.  I guess, she went for some training to be able to do Reiki and her teacher is quite literally down the street from where I live.

I'll be honest; right now I feel like I'm doing everything I can so far.  I'm diligently taking my medications, going to my weekly therapy sessions, and trying to exercise more often.  Still, something seems to be lacking.  Yes, I am making progress and I know that I can't rush what I'm going through but  I'm not opposed to trying out some more holistic remedies either.  When I had my cards read a couple of weeks ago, she was right on and it gave me some hope.  I'm hoping that maybe this Reiki person could also see something more within me and possibly get my energy flowing in a more healthy pattern.  I've also heard that acupuncture works wonders too but that seems super intimidating to me so I don't know.

Above all, tonight has redoubled my efforts to get through this craziness in my life.