I am utterly exhausted. I slept horribly last night. Not only did I not get into bed at reasonable hour when I finally did I had a mini anxiety attack. What was weird was that it wasn't mental like they normally are, rather it was purely physical. The only thing I could think was that I wanted to scream and just not stop. Tossing and turning from one position to another for almost an hour made it impossible to get comfortable or fall asleep. Not to mention that it kept Dave awake too. My muscles felt tight, my heart felt like it was racing, and it felt difficult to breath like there was a massive weight on my chest. No deep breathing exercises help and after about two hours with the sun rising outside I took my medication. Thank goodness for my medication. I hate to use it but it works wonders when I'm desperate.
Unfortunately, I then couldn't wake up. At all. That was second layer of awful. The downside of my medication is that it puts me out maybe too hardcore. So yeah, not the best day in the world. I hate these days and I was so determined to not call into work after my mini-vacation and it was going so well. Gah! I will get a grip one of these days. My apartment is a complete disaster again and yeah, it's been a difficult day. Probably not the best time to write about this. Tomorrow will be better. I mean, it's the fourth of July.
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