Moment in writing

Here I am again? Another night staring mindlessly at the glaring blue light of the computer screen.  My open blog document waits for my words.  Maybe this is a good way to clear my mind.  When I find myself over thinking everything, I should just open this lovely blog and stare at it for a few seconds.  The anticipation that comes from the knowledge that I need to write something seems to cause my mind to go blank at times.   As I wrote that sentence, I knew I wasn't entirely being honest.  Things do come to my mind but they're like quick flashes of thought.

Sometimes trying to think of something to write about is like standing in the middle of a crowded room with many people having different conversations.  You know that one of those conversations will really mean something to you if you just focus on it and listen.  The problem comes from not knowing where that conversation might be happening.  You pause and listen for a moment and what you hear is about someone's fifty some odd headache and you know that headaches will not be what inspires you so you move on.  In the next conversations, someone is discussing how milk is healthy and how they really want to become healthier in their eating habits but though you agree with their desires, you've already heard that and it's not what you need now.

As you wander further you catch more snippets of conversation that might be interesting to indulge in: the trip to Niagara Falls, the success in finding amazing bridesmaid dresses this week, how most relationships can be salvaged if both parties are willing to devote the time to work at it, how other relationships will never work out because only one person was interested to doing their part, how the hallway to your work always reminds you of The Shining.  These possible lift off points all have potential but they flash by so quickly and when you press pause, it stops but is so blurry that no matter how long you focus on it, you can't get a clear picture.  Or maybe your too busy placing all your focus on some tiny insignificant detail that you can no longer see the picture at all. 

How do I combat this particular problem?  By choosing not to.  Unable to propel myself into a particular topic and continuing to falter with multiple false starts I chose to just stop and write about the moment.  The present moment where absolutely nothing substantial is happening but something is happening all the same.  When I can't get a grip on the past or the future, my mind is reminding me to look at what's happening now. Capture the moment now.  Don't complain about being able to come up with something to write about, discuss what's happening as you try.  It turns out that it's far more productive that complaining.  Now if only I could remember this the next time I complain but I am nothing if not honest here: we all now it will be the first thing I'll forget.