Irritated

I'm annoyed.  I hate feeling annoyed.  Maybe it's just because I'm hungry.  For whatever reason I get cranky when I'm hungry and when I'm tired which is more annoying as I never used to feel that way back in college.  I used to be able to function just fine with little sleep and no food.   Now, I suck.  Then again, I used to be far more emotionally stable back that and didn't have a panic attack at the first hint of an upset stomach too.  Is this just a part of getting older?  Should I expect to become even more lame and ill-equipped to handle life as I get older?  If so, I've been seriously disillusioned.  I thought that shit was supposed to get better.   Were my early twenties really my peak?   I sincerely hope not since I wasted them.  Am I wasting my years now?

Where is this irritation coming from?  It really can't be all from the email I received from the Hospice class.  Tomorrow we are meeting with the chaplain and will be speaking about spirituality.  That's fine. However, she notes in italics,  "please remember that we will each be sharing something spiritual with the class."  Seriously?  Who says I want to discuss my spirituality with the class?  Maybe I'm an atheist with nothing to share.  Maybe I got issues with my spirituality and don't want to get into it with the class.  She will also be taking photos of us because there is nothing I enjoy more than having my picture taken at 9 in the morning.

A curve ball was thrown when she stated that due to new regulations we need to do the TB test twice in a row.  I went a week ago to get the TB test already.  Now I need to take it again.  Maybe twice?  WTF?  Sure let me drive thirty minutes to be poked with a needle or two and then drive all the way back.  For what exactly?  So that we don't give the dying an contagious diseases?  According to the CDC, TB can stay dormant for years before symptoms begin.  We will be visiting people who need to have a doctor's referral that states they have less than six months to live and if they show too much improvement while on hospice they will be "graduated" from it.   Of course, we can't risk giving them TB.   Yeah, yeah, I know it's totally bigger than that since we will be going to facilities but really two TB tests in a row.  Didn't I need to be vaccinated for it when I went to school?  Finally she mentioned that we need to bring our Certificate of Health sign off by our doctor which I haven't got yet (we still have one more week).  Why a certificate of health? So that they can be sure to don't visit the dying with contagious diseases.

Don't get me wrong.  I do not want to get anyone sick.  In fact, I will probably not go on a visit if I'm feeling ill knowing that their immune systems are compromised enough.  I get it.  On a logical level, I understand why they want to make sure we are healthy.  However, I'm not reacting logically.  I'm being over emotional and ridiculous.  Something about the whole email just sort of set me off.  Again, maybe it's the lack of food.  Of course, it could also be that I'm worried about Dave.  He's gone to get dinner at Boston Market and they closed the one closest to us so he's traveling some distance.  My anxiety may be getting the better of me.  I read that you can't be angry and anxious at the same time so that anxiety can present itself with irritation.

Yay, he just got home.  Let me see if I feel any better now that I can eat something.