Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! Today I am thankful for still my pregnancy test being negative!  Yes, this is going to be mentioned until I know one way or the other.  Anyway, I'm also super thankful for my family.  I spent my Thanksgiving having dinner and dessert at my sister's and future brother in law's house with my parents, and both my grandmothers.  My mother even took over doing the dishes (after spending most of the day cooking) so I could listen to my grandmother's tell stories of their pasts.

Listening to them can put things into perspective.  It makes these whole pregnancy fears seem petty.  My grandmother had four children by my age.  They also talked about how the siblings they lost during a time when infant mortality rates were far higher than today.  I can't imagine losing a child.  How a simple diarrhea outbreak could shorten so many lives and cause such lasting memories and pain.  Really, if I am pregnant all I'll want is to have a healthy baby and a healthy family.  That's what most important to me.  More than anything.  It makes you realize the sheer magnitude of having children or being able to purposely delay having children all the more.

My mother and the youngest of my aunts were not planned by my grandparents but my grandmother doesn't regret it at all.  She talks about how it certainly caused some anger at first especially with my aunt.  She already had five children, one about to go to college.  The only form of "birth control" she used was what she called the "religious roulette" otherwise known as the rhythm method.  She got pregnant with my aunt while she was menstruating which doesn't happen easily; you're supposed to be okay during that time.  I can completely understand their frustration at the time.  Restricted by their devote faith and the demands of the much stricter church, she was made to feel guilty about even practicing the rhythm method.

Like I said, she wouldn't change anything and she is more than grateful for my mom and my aunt.  Still, I can't help but be super thankful for the fact that I have been able to practice "safe" sex.  That is accepted and even expected today.  I'm so happy and grateful to talk to my grandmothers and mother who not only understand my anxiety but also helped to give me better perspective about it.