Today started out tough for me. I'm not sure why exactly as I slept really well last night if not as many hours as I'm used to and I'd slept plenty the day before. Still, the first hour of work seemed to drag endlessly and all I wanted was to go back to sleep my entire shift. On the bright side the struggle with sleep helped me eat. When I got home I was feeling tired and cranky so I took at nap. Later I woke up feeling hungry and cranky. Even after I ate I was still just feeling a bit irritated. I want to document this because it's the increase in being irritated by things that most worries me about decreasing my medication.
Thinking about it, my medications didn't exactly make me "happier" but I noticed a huge difference in my irritation level. When I wasn't on the medication I would get irritated by the littlest, most inconsequential things. I would find that I would be annoyed by the way someone said something, their tone, their body language, things that they aren't even aware of. Later I would find myself snapping at them and they would get annoyed that I was annoyed. On my medication that seemed to subside a bit. So now that it's decrease, I'm trying to be more aware of it creepy it's head back into my daily life.
If it does seem to be creeping back into my life then maybe I need the increased dosage. I hope not but really it's not fun being cranky and irritated all the time. It's not fun for me but it totally sucks for those around me who have to deal with it. I never leave a get together with a friend who was cranky the whole time and think "wow, I can't wait to see that person again!" I don't want to be that cranky friend or wife. I'll have to continue to keep my eye on it.
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