I really do believe that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. At least I feel like if I end up in hell that will be why. It doesn't matter what you want or intend to do. It's your actions, the things you actually accomplish and do that matter. This evening Dave and I had the opportunity to really help someone but we did nothing. It's so important to me to help those in need and yet when it comes time I don't do anything.
We decided to go into Boston for the evening. Walking up and down Newbury Street glancing into the shops and just talking was really nice. However, it was when we were on the way home that the opportunity presented itself. We had just gotten on the Orange line and this skinny, disheveled man stumbled onto the train. This happens more often than you would like riding the trains in Boston and everyone always seems to have some sort of story they tell to ask for your money.
This man was different though. As he started talking, his sincerity seemed to emanate from him. In a voice full of desperation he stated that he just found out that he had AIDS and that he needed to get on a bus for treatment in Springfield that helps people with no money. He got emotional saying that he was embarrassed and hate that he had to admit that his diagnosis but he needed $28 to get on that bus and he only had $5.
Like I said, there are a lot of struggling people so my immediate thought is to reject any request for money. There was just something about this guy that I wanted to give him something. Knowing I had no cash whatsoever I asked Dave if he had anything. He told me he spent the rest of his cash when we parked. This poor guy was almost in tears and I still wasn't sure if I trusted him. A part of me just wanted to toss some money at him but we had none.
It was at that moment that a man about our age got up from the back of the train and gave him a big hug. The guy just began sobbing. It was then that I realized that he needed that understanding, that support more than he needed any money. He just kept repeating, "I just want to get some help. I just want to get some help." That man who embraced him seemed to open the door. A young woman stepped up and handed him a $20 and another man gave him a $10. He was beside him. He couldn't believe the generosity from these strangers.
Still the only thing I did was ask him if he was going to be okay as he got off the train. He just kept thanking all of us. A part of me wishes that we had at least bought him dinner. We didn't have any cash but we could have bought him a sandwich for the ride. I wanted to do more and I had just stood there spending more time trying to determine whether this guy was trying to take advantage of me than actually trying to figure out how to help him.
When did I become so cynical? It makes me really mad. He wasn't asking any of us to take him to Springfield. We were in no danger. What was the worst that could happen, we would give money to someone who might not deserve it? Is it more important to not be swindled than it is to lend a helping hand. I think I'd rather do the right thing and be taken advantage of than run the risk of doing nothing for someone who may actually need it.
Truthfully, it's not just there. I don't do anything to help others. Hell, I hardly stay in touch with my own friends. I don't volunteer, I don't go out of my way to be with people, I just think about what's best for me. I want to do these things but wanting and doing are very different. I need to start taking action and not just thinking about it.
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