Ideas

Today was a day full of ideas and my productivity at both jobs was a bit lackluster but I don't think anyone noticed.  I'm really not wanting to work either job tomorrow at all.  I want to flush out these ideas and play with them and make them something a bit more just something amorphously floating around in my head.   I want to get them out before I loose them back to the abyss.   I swear that ideas come and go as they please.  You can only be open to receive they come.  Sometimes it feels like I'm waiting in a large group of people for a glimpse of a celebrity because you heard a whisper that they might come around.  I stand there waiting for hours and finally the celebrity walks by and I struggle to get my camera out of my bag to capture a shot.  It's happens very quickly and people are pushing and pulling at me.  Finally when I get home I take a look at the shot.  It's blurry but I've captured them in that instant.  

I've tried to write them down as they entered my brain but I couldn't get into them because I was at work.  Sometimes I feel like I have to be relatively busy for these kinds of ideas to invade my mind.  It's exciting though.  I like feeling like I'm giving a bit more depth those very few thoughts that came up a while ago and I didn't have too much time to entertain.  I'm not sure if I've mentioned it here but I am thinking about trying to blog again.  This is not a blog.  It's a personal journal where I write on a daily basis about nothing most of the time.  When I do write, my posts are rarely focused.  What I think gets written with little censorship or editing or intent.  Of course, that's not to say that this new "blog" will amount to anything but I want to make a valid effort.   It will still be really personal and all about me as I'm that vain and really just lack a distinct topic. 

See that paragraph.  That's what I mean by this blog lacks direction.  It's a bunch of rambling.  I want more than that for the next one.  I'll still write here because I am free to babble about nothing.  Obviously, I'm having a difficult time explaining the "why" I want to do this.  Today I began to flush out some of the topics I want to write about but I've yet to fully narrow it down.  I think that once I figure out my "why" I'll find that piece that ties it all together.  I'm on my way, I think.  I'm just reluctant to say it out loud.  To say it out loud means that it stands to be judged.  That will be my biggest hurdle with the next blog.  There's a very good chance I'll write the entry and then not feel like it will be good enough to post but I need to get over that if I choose to go through with it.